Serena Loves Elizabeth Shue!

My first gay crush was actress Elizabeth Shue.

I was around 7 years old, when I first saw her in the movie "Cocktail" in 1988.

Even her character's name (Jordan Mooney) made me swoon.

In the movie, she plays a struggling artist (from an old-money/Upper East Side family, naturally) who we find skipping around Jamaica.

She eventually falls in love with Tom Cruise, who played a bartender. The moment I saw her - I was smitten. And the deal was sealed during the waterfall scene. Ever since then, I've had a thing for her.


I've always kept this crush to myself, but my
ex-girlfriend bears a stunning resemblance to her.

Serena - Los Angeles, CA
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Lauren Loves Cameron Diaz!

My first gay crush was actress Cameron Diaz.

I was 7-years old when a friend of my parents' had taken my sister and I to see "The Mask."

Afterwards, when she asked us each what we thought about the movie, my only response was:

"The pretty blonde lady made my tummy feel funny."


I don't remember saying this, but I do remember feeling happy and warm the whole rest of the night.

The truth is, I was stunned by the gorgeous blonde in a red dress, who danced like no one I'd ever dreamed of. She was sexy, she was smart, and she was troubled.

I would learn later in life that "troubled" is something I'm not only drawn to, but feel a strong urge to rectify. But most of all, she was mesmerizing.

It didn't matter that she worked for some sleazy guy, was forced into a relationship with him, or that she wasn't particulary well-spoken. When Cameron danced, sang, or even just walked into a room, everything else just kind of melted away.

My younger self seemed to have a strong affinity for blondes (Hello, Kelly Taylor!), and although I'm primarily drawn to brunettes nowadays, I will never forget that night -- or that red dress!

Lauren - New Brunswick, New Jersey
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Wayne Loves Christopher Reeve!

My first gay crush was Christopher Reeve/Superman.

I was 5-years old, and my uncle took me to see "Superman." I was so psyched because I had a few Superman comic books and finally I was going to see the 'real thing'.

When he finally appeared on screen, saving Lois Lane after she fell out of the helicopter, I was in awe over his smile and big blue eyes.


I had seen some old Superman shows on TV too, but Christopher as Superman was just amazing to me!

Wayne - Kenora, Ontario, Canada
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Frank Loves Elijah Wood!

My first gay crush was actor Elijah Wood.

Actually, my crush was on two boys that were just a few years older than me:

Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin.


It happened watching the movie, "The Good Son."

At that age, I had this idea that I wanted to be their "best friend" just to spend time with them. I liked them both in other movies, but I think "The Good Son" is what definitely confirmed my crush.

I'm 27-years old now and I've met them both at various times in my life after I turned 21. My crush for Elijah was still there, but that ended as soon as I saw the first "Lord of the Rings" movie.

As for Macaulay, I had the privilege to be on the set for the movie "Party Monster," with a good friend and mentor, Brian Warner (best known as Marilyn Manson).

The little that I got to talk to Macaulay, I accidently told him about my crush as a child.

He said it was nice yet innocent, but that people change... Huh?

Frank - Dallas, TX
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Kim Loves Winona Ryder!

My first gay crush was actress Winona Ryder.

I was 19, when I saw her on a "Rolling Stone" magazine cover.

Seeing her at that time was my "When I knew for sure moment."

I would just stare at her in the checkout aisle at the grocery store.

Her hair, those eyes, her lips, those twisted up overalls, and no shirt.

It was amazing, and I've always remembered it. I didn't know if I wanted to be her or be with her. But I was definitely OK with either applied to me.

My girlfriend always says she's going to look for an original copy of the magazine on Ebay and buy it and frame it for me. :)

Kim - Columbus, Ohio
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Mike Loves Dolph Lundgren!

My first gay crush was Dolph Lundgren as He-Man!!!

I grew up in a very strict Catholic family in the late 1970's. And the word gay or homosexual was never mentioned.

Thus, at the age of 14, I still didn't know what gay was. Or that gay people even existed.

I'd had boy crushes for hotties like Scott Baio and Christopher Atkins, and swooned over them as much as my sister did. But always in secret. Then in 1987, reading a movie magazine, I had my first "serious" gay crush.

I came across the full page ad for "Masters of the Universe" starring Dolph Lundgren. I was absolutely floored by how cute he was with his perfect blond hair and skimpy costume, which revealed his totally hot, buff body. And I just completely melted!

Dolph was standing in front of bright rays of light shining all around him, and to me he seemed like an archangel warrior sent from the heavens! Also, unlike the animated He-Man who wore fuzzy briefs, Dolph wore a sexy leather pouch! If that wasn't enough, across his chest he had thin, snugly-fitting leather straps!

I didn't have a word for it, but I knew right then I was gay! My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt slightly paralyzed, fixated on the picture.

I decided I had to see the movie, never wanted to lose that picture ever, and I couldn't ever let anyone know I had it! So I rationalized that hiding the photo under my mattress would be the best thing to avoid suspicion.

In any case, I can truthfully say it's He-Man's fault that I'm gay! :) And I still think that movie poster picture of Dolph is totally hot!

Mike - Ontario, Canada
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Marcus Loves Jan-Michael Vincent!

My first gay crush was actor Jan-Michael Vincent.

When the summer of 1973 came around, my mom was working part time at the mall, and my sister and I would go with her and hang out there. 

This was also when malls had one or two movie screens inside.

One day, the movie we all saw was "The World's Greatest Athlete." And oh my stars!

When I caught sight of Nanu (Vincent's character),
I remember audibly inhaling and my sister asking if I was okay. He was stunning to me.


I recall spending the rest of the summer pretending that he and I were friends in the jungle after he rescued me. And he'd take me swinging on vines, swimming in lagoons, and hunting tigers. Ahh, summer.

I remember still crushing on him when "Damnation Alley" came out in 1977. Although the young Jackie Earl Hailey was also on my gay radar. Double score!

Marcus - San Antonio, TX
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Justin Loves Leonardo DiCaprio!

My first gay crush was on Jack Dawson
(aka actor Leonardo DiCaprio).

I first saw "Titanic" when I was 6, in the mid 90's with my sister and aunt.

The movie was captivating for me. And even though I was so young, I still understood the gravity of Jack and Rose's love for each other. Also, I was wickedly jealous of Rose.

At first I wasn't sexually attracted to him (I was 6 for God's sake), but when I saw Jack frozen in the water with Rose trying to wake him up, I started bawling my eyes out.

I thought it was a real story, and I was watching an actor die filming it. My aunt tried to console me by telling me it was just a movie, but it didn't help me sleep at night.

I remember having dreams of me falling through the water and flying through the sunken Titanic. I would meet Jack by the clock, and we would embrace and kiss while everyone around us applauded.

I still have a crush on Leo today. But the Jack Dawson that stole my 6-year old heart has to rest in peace. That is, until I have the occasional dream taking me on another journey down to that amazing ship.

Justin - Steilacoom, WA
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Joe Loves James Franciscus!

My first gay crush was actor James Franciscus.

I was 11, just starting puberty, and went with my brothers and friends to see "Beneath the Planet of the Apes." 

Like them, I liked action movies and sci-fi and - so I thought - the hot cavegirl, Nova.

But boy, I was in for a big surprise! 

The hero of the movie was an astronaut played by James Franciscus. I couldn't take my eyes off him!

He was the most handsome guy I'd ever seen. He had golden blond hair, piercing blue eyes, and a deep voice. He was commanding and athletic, projecting a very manly, cool presence.

In his spacesuit, he looked and acted like the perfect All-American man, which had shifted in that era from cowboys to astronauts. But I quietly prayed for him to lose that spacesuit like Charlton Heston did in the first "Apes" movie! And I got my wish. Within a few minutes, Franciscus was stripped down to a skimpy loincloth and spent the rest of the movie looking like a blond Tarzan.

And wow, what a wardrobe change that was. He had a great body, with well defined pecs and sixpack abs. He didn't have the only ripped body in Hollywood then, but it wasn't that common, either. And to see such a handsome man with such a great body was really rare.

That night (and off and on for years afterward), I was confused and conflicted, since I'd thought I was into curvy cavegirls. But I had obviously discovered I preferred hard-bodied spacemen. And I got over it fast by fantasizing about my astronaut in a loincloth!

Joe - Atlanta, GA
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Daniel Loves John Travolta!

My first gay crush was John Travolta.

As a young gay boy in the late 1970's, television was my refuge.

And that is where I first spotted him on "Welcome Back, Kotter."

When he came on the screen, I could not look away.



He had a bright smile like a 100-watt bulb, the bluest eyes I'd ever seen, and hair that defied gravity.

It was love from the very first moment I heard the words, "Up your nose, with a rubber hose!" He was definitely the breakout star of the show.

He was gorgeous and funny, and I was convinced I would marry him. I remember telling anybody in my family that would listen, 'I'm going to marry John Travolta!' And nobody flinched. My mom would even tell me when he was going to be on TV. It was all so ridiculously normal.

Today, when the gossip rags print rumors about him, I can’t help but feel sorry for him. I don't know what's true and what isn't. Only he really knows.
I just hope he's happy and healthy in his life.

I hope he is being true to himself, and I hope he is giving his kids the message that it's okay to love whomever you choose. His smile still makes my heart go pitter patter to this day.

Daniel - Chino Hills, California
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Jim Loves Steve Reeves!

My first gay crush was bodybuilder/actor Steve Reeves

I was 9 when I first saw him in "Hercules Unchained" in 1959.

He was extremely handsome, bearded, sexy, with a muscled physique.

Basically, the total Daddy Package, something I've been drawn to all my life.

The body, the face, the personality:
This hot man was basically a Demigod.



He was a man's man who looked like he could wear you out in the bedroom, but at the same time be devoted and protective of you. And I still love him 52 years later.

Jim - Canton, OH
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Tony Loves Albert Finney!

My first gay crush was actor Albert Finney.

The movie "Tom Jones" came out in 1963, and I was 13.

This crush was so special to me, as it really revealed to me who I truly was.

The guys I had gone to the movie with were all giddy about the buxom Susannah York and her exposed cleavage. But I was silent, as I only had eyes for Albert as Tom.

Finney was suave, debonaire, flirtatious, and just gorgeous. And with a sparkle in his eye and a smile that would have melted butter.

But I knew I couldn't say what I was really thinking: "He is sooo cute!"

I went home that night a changed person, and started to reassess my relationships with my pals: Which ones I liked swimming or wrestling with. Who made me nervous when we had sleepovers. Who earned the badge of being my "best" friend. And yeah, which ones were cute.

I never told anyone about my crush until I came out years later. But every time I see pictures of him circa 1960, I smile warmly. There's nothing like a first love to keep you feeling young.

Tony - Miami, FL
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Fritz Loves Clint Walker!

My first gay crush was actor Clint Walker.

Even at 10-years old back in 1963, I knew and had known who I was attracted to. Whether or not it could be called sexual at that age, is a moot point.

I knew who I wanted to cuddle, wrestle, kiss, spend the night with, and see naked. And it was men.

Clint Walker was the first man in these fantasies.

I watched everything I could he was in - his movies, the TV series "Cheyenne" - and always anxiously waited for the shirt to come off. As I matured and my excitement manifested itself, it was almost impossible to sit in the den and watch him on our one TV.


As this was South Georgia in the '60s, I told no one about this crush.

But it was more than just physical, though. Clint and his characters were everything I wanted to be. Strong and quiet, and in control of his emotions; a good man who had no need to prove anything to anyone. What you saw was what you got. Were they masculine cliches? Yup.

There were plenty of other male crushes back then.
Heck, I think I was excited to see almost any man with his shirt off. But faithful soul that I am, I've always kept a special place in my heart for Clint Walker.

Fritz - Stateboro, GA
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Julia Loves Christina Ricci!

My first gay crush was actress Cristina Ricci.

I went to see the movie "Now and Then" and lost my mind over the badass character she played.

In the movie, Christina couldn't identify with her girly pals. 

She even taped her boobs down for the first half of the film.

My crush got so deep that I had to feign a massive crush on Devon Sawa, to balance out my obsession.

I think my mom even got uncomfortable and pissed at me, for talking about her so much. I remember getting a bunch of teen magazines and I made a collage of Devon Sawa to put in the inside of my trunk at summer camp.

I would go to great lengths to ensure people that I actually had crushes on boys. I remember opening up the trunk at camp, and feeling embarrassed about the collage. Luckily, my shampoo bottle exploded and got everything stained, so I ended up crumpling it up and throwing it right away.



I listened to the "Now and Then" soundtrack until the cassette tape broke. My friends and I would pretend we were the characters in the movie, and of course I was always cast as the "tomboy" - aka the Cristina Ricci.

She was my hero!

Julia - Miami, FL
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Keith Loves Kurt Russell!

My first gay crush was Kurt Russell in "Overboard!"

He first caught my eye in "Big Trouble in Little China," and my habit of seeing every movie in the mid 80's led me to a matinee screening of Kurt, and his white tank top.

The way he tucked his thumbs under his shirt drove me wild.
I was 13. 

And I've had a thing for thick, burly, meaty, hairy men ever since. There was a guy in my high school who looked a lot like him, who I ogled for 4 years while trying to not be obvious about it.

Anyway, I try to play down this first crush due to his mullet. Hey, I wasn't looking at what was on his head! But I feel no embarrassment - he still looks great! I do, however, balk at admitting I went to see him in "Soldier" many years later. What a void of everything, brain-dead, joke that was.

Is it ironic that the first nude woman I saw in a movie was HBO's "Wildcats" - with Goldie Hawn in the bathtub? No, probably not.

So, Kurt Russell in a movie is definitely a PLUS, even though I never cared for those Snake Plissken flicks. I think I ought to check out his 70's Disney work, eh?

Keith - Philadelphia, PA
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Scott Loves Michael Schoeffling!

My first gay crush was actor Michael Schoeffling.

It was early summer 1984.

I was 9 and got dragged to see a movie by my older female cousin.

I remember I didn't want to see this movie at all, and just wanted to go back home and go swimming.


But my cousin was 16, able to overpower me, and she made me go. And the movie we saw changed my life forever: It was "16 Candles." From the moment Jake Ryan (played by the gorgeous Michael Schoeffling) came on screen, I had goose bumps. I had never felt so instantly attracted to anyone like that before.

He was handsome, sweet, and rich. Oh, the chiseled jaw, beautiful eyebrows, smoldering glances, and the way he pegged his jeans. It was love (or at least lust) at first sight.

Feelings and sensations were suddenly unlocked for me, that I'd never felt before. And by the end of the movie, I was sobbing with all the teenage girls in the Cineplex. 


After the movie, I would pray to wake up one day and be Molly Ringwald, so that I could go off and marry Jake. I was convinced he was the man for me.

To this day, men who resemble Michael Schoeffling still get my blood boiling. Thus, my second gay crush was on Matt Dillon, because to me he had the same physical attributes: dark hair, thick brows, smoldering looks...

Whew, is it hot in here? :)

Scott - San Diego, CA
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Bobby Loves Ricky Schroder!

My first gay crush was Ricky Schroder.

The first time I saw Ricky was in "The Last Flight of Noah's Ark" in 1980.

I was only 9, but I remember being jealous of his friend in the movie, and I wanted desperately to be his best friend.

I didn't understand my feelings, but I know I was obsessed with wanting to know more about him.

I made my parents rent "The Champ" just so I could watch more of the boy with the blonde hair and the bright blue eyes.

By the time Ricky was in "Silver Spoons" in 1982,
my crush had developed to the point that I would hide my sister's Tiger Beat magazines, so I could look at the pictures of Ricky, alone by myself.

I still hadn't figured out exactly why I wanted to know as much about him as possible, as I stared at every picture and read about his "likes/dislikes." But I did know that these feelings were to be kept hidden, especially from my older brother.

I feel like I grew up with Ricky, and by the time I recognized this crush on him during "Silver Spoons," I started to come to terms with the idea that I was gay. While I wouldn't come out to my family for many years, I'll always remember my first crush.

Bobby - West Hollywood, CA
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Bjørn Loves Matt Dillon!

My first gay crush was
definitely Matt Dillon.

On May 22nd, I celebrated the 25th anniversary of coming out to myself.

Obviously, it's fairly difficult to pinpoint that kind of an event accurately.

But I have the proof, from when I was 14-years old:

This 5/22/86 diary entry first mentions I might be gay. The reason I wrote what I did, was from seeing that photo of Matt Dillon in a magazine.

Matt sure had an impact on me. Because what I wrote (in Norwegian) in the diary says:

"I don't know if I'm gay, but he certainly is very sexy. I have no more to say, other than that I hope I'm turned on that much by sexy girls."

Well now, 25 years later, I can assure you that never happened ... :-)

Bjørn - Stange, Norway
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Sean Loves Sean Marshall!

Sean Marshall my my first gay crush.
Well, sort of. Keep reading...

I was a very awkward child, both physically and socially.

I had this idea that everyone in the world was my best friend, and so I behaved accordingly. Well, imagine my disappointment. Also imagine that I had no defense against liking people who thought I was a total oddball.

Then I saw Disney's "Pete's Dragon," and I wanted to be best friends with Pete. I had no idea who Sean Marshall was, which was fine because he wasn't part of my crush. Pete was.

Here was a kid who was an outsider in his adopted family and in the town he landed in. It felt like that was me on the screen, except Pete had a pet dragon to be his defender. Luckily, it just so happened I liked dragons! And overalls!

I imagined we would talk about mythical animals we could strike down our enemies with. And wanting to look the opposite of how I had to dress in Catholic school. No polyester shirts! Yay!

I've never told anyone this, probably because it reveals too much about my psychology. But just wait till I post it on Facebook...

Sean - Erie, PA
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