Dean Loves Davy Jones!

My first gay crush was Davy Jones of The Monkees.

It was 1969 and I was about 7-years old.

The combination of his looks and their music sent me into a tizzy, and I would sit in front of the TV transfixed. 

It was because of him that I would later crush on singers like Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy. But, Davy was the first. 

I loved his eyes, his lips, his smile, his hair, his accent -- ok EVERYTHING about him!
He was so cute and seemed so sweet!



If no one was aware of my crush, they were blind. Or just thought I REALLY liked The Monkees. 

I still smile when I see a picture of him. 

 Dean - Winston-Salem, NC
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Curtis Loves David Gallagher!

My first gay crush was actor David Gallagher!

He played Simon Camden on the "7th Heaven" TV show. 

I had never seen it though, as there was no WB affiliate where I lived. 

But then in 1997, TV Guide featured it. 

As I looked into his eyes, I loved his smile, and his perfectly parted hair.

I was a naive 13 year old that year, and all I knew was that I got this warm feeling inside just looking at him. 

I wanted to be near him.

And to be like him. 

Being a blond with green eyes myself, I held the
TV Guide up to the mirror and tried to style my hair the same way. I kept that issue at the head of my bed for nearly a year, saying I liked one of the articles in it. 

A year later, I was literally in my OWN 7th heaven when my parents sprung to pay for for DishTV. 

Not only could I watch all the new episodes, but WGN ran many reruns all day. I stayed home sick from school as often as I could to catch them. 

My mom loved that I had taken a liking to such a "wholesome show."

If she only knew the unwholesome things I dreamt of while watching David!

Curtis - Aztec, New Mexico
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David Loves Leigh McCloskey!

My first gay crush was actor Leigh McCloskey!

It was the mid-70's, and on "Dallas" he played Mitch, the hot boyfriend of that slutty little midget, Lucy Ewing. 

What a waste! 

And it's only in hindsight that I realize the absolute lust I had for this man. It's kind of funny, because he is so not my type now. 

But back then? He was a golden-maned god with perfect white teeth and the bluest eyes this side of Lake Tahoe. He was the male equivalent of Farrah Fawcett-Majors. Beautiful! 

I really do believe that I was straight before his appearance on the show.

Such was his power, that every time I saw him in a magazine or in some TV movie - "Alexander: The Other Side of Dawn" was my favorite; he played a male hooker - it was instant boner time. 

Leigh brought out my inner-homo. As I had no concept for how to deal with these shameful feelings, I just jacked off a lot and did everything I could to look exactly like him. 

Even to the point of turning my hair to straw with lemon juice and wearing lots of terry-cloth and short shorts. If I couldn't have him, I'd be him!

That was my thinking at the time.

And the whole fandango came to an abrupt end when BJ McKay ran over poor Goldilocks Lucy with his big red truck. It was at that point I realized brunettes were my thing. And I spanked that monkey like there was no tomorrow.

David - Los Angeles, CA

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Cory Loves Devon Sawa!

My first gay crush was teen actor Devon Sawa!

I'd known since I was about age 7 that I didn't feel about girls the way I felt about boys.

So I'd pretty much accepted that I was gay by that point.

One summer day in 1996 at age 13, I came upon a special issue Tiger Beat featuring the movie "Wild America" starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and an actor I'd never heard of before named - Devon Sawa.

One look at Devon's blonde, angelic, masculine features, those gorgeous blue eyes, full lips and taut frame wrapped up in that leather jacket, spotless white t-shirt, and tight blue jeans? 

My heart actually leaped into my throat!

I'd had never (and still to this day have never) fallen so hard and so instantaneously in my life! 

For the next three years, Devon consumed my every waking thought. I immediately found every movie he'd done to that point.

I literally rewound the nude scene in "Now & Then" so many times I wore out the VHS tape!

Devon disappeared for a bit after "Wild America" but I was very pleased to see him make a resurgence on TV.

And I was even more delighted to see that Devon, like a fine wine, has vastly improved with age. 

He's not just beautiful anymore, he's now a very sexy, full-grown man. 

But I still feel a bit of nostalgia for the boy I used to crush over, dreaming of him lying next to me in my bed, with him wrapped in my arms.

Cory - Wyoming, Michigan
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Wayne Loves Peter Tork!

My first gay crush was The Monkees' Peter Tork!

I was around 9 years old when The Monkees premiered on NBC. 

At that age I was also a big fan of music like The Beatles and Paul Revere & The Raiders.

I loved reading 16, Flip, and Tiger Beat magazines, all of them cover to cover. 

But I could never actually "see" my heroes, except in the movies.  

I remember seeing The Beatles' "Help!" in the Pascack Theatre in Westwood, NJ. All the girls in the theatre screamed the whole time!

With The Monkees, it was like I got to spend a half hour with my new "fave raves:" Davy, English and my height (LOL); Mickey, the perfect class clown; and Mike, the mature, responsible one. 

And then there was Peter. He seemed like someone I wanted to live next door, to be best friends with. 

Sometime in the summer of 1968, one of the mags printed a two-page "Body Painting" photo of Peter. There he was, no shirt, almost down to his belly.  

I grabbed my markers and started designing Peter with groovy psychedelic patterns and colors. I remember lying on our living room floor, on my stomach, drawing circles and squares around his nipples, his pecs, and felt some sort of stirring in my 11-year old loins. So I guess you could say that coloring Peter's poster induced my puberty!

Forty or so years later, I met him, and he is a super nice guy. And still cute! I didn't tell him about him being a catalyst in my becoming a man, but I certainly remembered!

Wayne - Ridgefield Park, NJ

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Jeff Loves Donnie Osmond!

My first gay crush was dreamy Donnie Osmond!   

I was 10 years old, and growing up as a gay boy in the 1970's was a magical experience.  

Back then, my sister bought all of the popular teen magazines, such as "Tiger Beat" (my FAVORITE), "16" and "Teen Beat." We read them from cover to cover, and trust me, those magazines were dog-eared and tattered when we were done with them!  

My sister also had a set of Donny Osmond bubble gum cards, which I snatched away. I saved them in a dresser drawer and would pull them out whenever I wanted to imagine myself kissing his luscious, lovely lips.  

I kept my Donny Osmond desire a secret from my family. But to this day, I am still partial to dark haired men with pretty white teeth and full lips.  

Thank you for all you do for the gay community with your blogs. You are much appreciated!  

Jeff - Wichita, Kansas 
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Victor Loves River Phoenix!

My first gay crush was actor River Phoenix.

And more specifically, his character Chris Chambers in the movie "Stand By Me."

I remember that I was shocked by his beauty.

I was roughly 12 in the early 2000's when I saw the movie for the first time. I loved how he was tough and a rebel, but also very sensitive and sad inside.

I was very sensitive too, and I remember crying at every emotional scene he had with his friend Gordie. What moved me the most was how he was being protective with him, even with his own problems.

At the time, I wanted to see them as a sort of couple, so I was jealous of Gordie and thought he was annoying and selfish. Ha ha!

Oh, and I also remember re-watching the scene with River shirtless with the leeches. I had to watch that scene covertly when my parents weren't around!

Victor - Avignon, France

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Jonathan Loves David Cassidy!

My first gay crush? Duh! David Cassidy!

From the time "The Partridge Family" first aired in 1970, David Cassidy was the preferred boy idol of the girls in my grade school.

Which lands this crush during my tween years. 

Fronting the fictional family band, he sang one of their most popular hits: "I Think I Love You" - 
a full out ode to being fearlessly in love!

But then in the Spring of 1972, Annie Leibovitz's "Splendor in the Grass" portrait of him ran on the cover of Rolling Stone!

And I felt something truly illicit when I acquired a copy of it. 

However, my feelings were hidden away at the time.


But they fueled endless fantasies of David and I rolling around naked in the grass (for starters).

Looking at it today, I would still like to roll around naked in the grass with him!!!

Jonathan - Staten Island, NY

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Dor Loves George Michael!

My first gay crush was George Michael! 
Oh, those white teeth and charming smile. 

In 1984 I was 14, and Wham! had just come into my life. Somehow Annie Lennox was also on the list as she was so damn androgynous and amazing.
And Boy George was on my list as well.

But George Michael was my main man, my young gun, and my careless whisper all rolled into one lovely Grecian God!

I used to imagine that "Club Tropicana" was a real place and I dreamed of working there. 

To this day, Wham! remains in my music mix and George remains a full blown crush, alas only figuratively.  

When George came out, I was so relieved and happy for him. With that white speedo and sparkling smile, I think we all knew it all along. 

Long live the 80's! 

Dor - Portland, Oregon 
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Dane Loves Scott Baio!

My first gay crush was Scott Baio!

Back in the 8th grade, "Happy Days" was the only good thing on TV. 

Then they introduced Fonzie’s younger cousin Chachi. And I was way gay for him, and his adorable, almond eyes. 

My hair back then was just like his, so I started wearing an army shirt. I wanted to make myself a muscle shirt too, but my mom refused to let me cut the sleeves off.  

When Erin Moran dated Chachi I almost died. 
I hated freckle-faced Joanie! 

Of course, my crush on Chachi was a shameful secret, because I would have been pounded. Nobody in my school at that time admitted to being gay. But since I could draw, in the privacy of my bedroom, I rendered Chachi naked. Then I drew a black swimsuit over him to cover his naughty bits.

My brother found the drawings and wrote:
“Who is this fag?!” So much for likenesses!

Next, I tried stealing glances at his picture in an issue of Teen Beat, and I was busted ogling his naked torso by the guys working at 7-11. 

They laughed their asses off, and I was beyond humiliated!

Then I heard Scott would be signing autographs at the Auto Show. I didn’t have the guts to go, but my friend Julianne did. And he said to her, quote: “Hi. How’s it going?” Ohhh! 

I would have melted in a pool on the floor along with all the other 13-year old girls! 

Except for the fact that I was a boy.
And yup, I would have been pounded! 

Dane - Brooklyn, NY ________________________________________

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Dennis Loves Ike Eisenmann!

My first gay crush was on Ike Eisenmann.

I was 6 years old in 1975, and Ike as Tony in "Escape To Witch Mountain" was positively dreamy to me! I remember feeling incredibly warm whenever he would talk or use his powers to jump really high. He could just nod his head, and I got a tingly feeling all over my body.

My first thought was, "Wow, how awesome would it be to hang out with Tony?" Which led to thinking, "Tony and I could find the magic spaceship, and go flying around the galaxy having all kinds of outer-space adventures!"

This soon led to, "We can live together in outer space on the magical spaceship with nobody else but the two of us." Of course, Kim Richards was absent during all of this. Though I adored her, she just didn't fit in my 6-year-old brain's lovestruck narrative. Sorry, Kim!

I would literally BEG my mom to see it every single time it played in theaters. "Can't we wait for it to be on TV?," she would ask. "NoOOooOOoooOOO! It's better in the MOVIES!," I would whine.

The reason I loved the movie so much is that it's a metaphor to growing up different, which can certainly apply to being gay. The idea that something logical could explain how different I felt completely appealed to me. As did the idea of having authoritative power over bullies, being able to speak to animals, and move objects with one's mind. That was a level of control I found absent in much of my life.

My family never knew about my crush. I came out in high school, only to be utterly and totally ignored. It was as if I hadn't come out, and they still talk to me as if I'm straight. Nowadays, I don't talk to them much.

They figure if they ignore my special gay powers, I won't be dragged off to Mr. Bolt's evil estate, chased by hound dogs. But those of us from the Mountain, we know better. We can see the future.

Dennis - Portland, Oregon
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Kevin Loves Justin Timberlake!

My first gay crush was Justin Timberlake.

I was in 8th grade, and I had seen some scenes in movies that intrigued me. 

But JT made it very clear to me that women weren't really going to be a part of my romantic life.

I still have a very vivid memory of the Rolling Stone cover he did when his solo album came out.

And every gay guy around my age knows exactly what I'm talking about!

Much to my delight, he did a whole photo shoot inside, and it was all online for me to secretly view whenever I desired. And being age 13, that was pretty often.

Even when I see a picture of him now, I usually have to drop whatever I'm doing and take a look.

Kevin - Chicago, Illinois
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Michael Loves Rick Springfield!

My first gay crush was the
one and only Rick Springfield.

It was right around 1981, and I was age 11. I fell in love with his hit single "Jessie's Girl"
and then his other hits.

When I saw the back of his album cover with him in a wife-beater (we probably called them tank-tops back then), I SWOONED!

My mom even took me to see him in concert twice!


I had my mom buy me 16 Magazine and others like it, just so I could tear out his photos. In retrospect,
I wonder what my dad thought about the Rick centerfold I had plastered on the wall directly over my bed…?

Michael - Ft. Lauderdale, FL
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Ryan Loves Ryan Lambert!

My first gay crush was singer/actor Ryan Lambert.

As a kid in a small town in N. Carolina, music was my outlet. It was the 1980's, and pop music was totally AWESOME! I compulsively listened to pop radio, and I would just dance and dance.

"Kids Incorporated" was my favorite TV show on Sundays, and Ryan Lambert was just so adorable! He played guitar and had really great hair!

He was just rocker enough to be compelling - but wasn't threatening to a boy who practiced dance routines to Madonna, Stacey Q, and Debbie Gibson in his room.


I liked his voice and I imagined he was my dreamy boyfriend, so I could dance and play tambourine with him on stage. The intersection of sex, art, and music began for me with the very cute Mr. Ryan Lambert.

Ryan - N. Carolina
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John Loves Vince Van Patten!

My first gay crush was actor Vince Van Patten!

I had a habit of staring at my sister's Bobby Sherman poster, sneaking her Tiger Beat magazines into my room, and being very into Lance Kerwin from TV's "James At 15."

But my first, real, "OMG!" gay crush was at age 9 in 1975, and saw Vince Van Patten on the TV show, "Apple's Way."

He started my infatuations with blond, surfer types. As a skinny kid with boring brown hair, it was a type I wanted, and wanted to be.

In addition to acting, Vince played tennis, and seeing him in those tight, 1970's tennis shorts made me feel all funny inside.

John - Portland, OR
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Jay Loves Ricky Schroder!

My first gay crush was Ricky Schroder!

Watching him on "Silver Spoons", and seeing him in Tiger Beat and other teen magazines, I formed a huge crush on him, along with a million other tweens.

In the 5th grade, my teacher gave us something fun to do, which was writing an essay on your favorite idol from sports, to singers, to everyday people.

I wrote two essays about Ricky:

One was for school, and the other saying how I REALLY felt about him. The teacher had the class read our essays aloud as we cheered each other on. My turn came and my teacher read aloud, "He's so cute. I want to hug and kiss him..." Yup, I'd submitted the wrong essay!

For a short while, I was known as Mrs. Schroeder to friends and they'd laugh and giggle. My teacher, Mrs. Ashley, pulled me aside and said my essay was well written with expression and devotion, and she enjoyed having me in her class.

This crush was completely taboo to speak of at the dinner table, as far as I was concerned. But it was obvious to my family because of the Teen Beat posters taped to my walls, next to my Culture Club posters.

Jay - San Francisco, CA
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Marcus Loves Jan-Michael Vincent!

My first gay crush was actor Jan-Michael Vincent.

When the summer of 1973 came around, my mom was working part time at the mall, and my sister and I would go with her and hang out there. 

This was also when malls had one or two movie screens inside.

One day, the movie we all saw was "The World's Greatest Athlete." And oh my stars!

When I caught sight of Nanu (Vincent's character),
I remember audibly inhaling and my sister asking if I was okay. He was stunning to me.


I recall spending the rest of the summer pretending that he and I were friends in the jungle after he rescued me. And he'd take me swinging on vines, swimming in lagoons, and hunting tigers. Ahh, summer.

I remember still crushing on him when "Damnation Alley" came out in 1977. Although the young Jackie Earl Hailey was also on my gay radar. Double score!

Marcus - San Antonio, TX
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George Loves David Cassidy!

I had my first gay crush in the early 70's when I was about 15-years old: It was David Cassidy.

I remember I had a large photo of him in an old fashioned swim suit.

He was in a backyard setting, running through a sprinkler. 

And his "male anatomy" was outlined in the wet suit, and was very visible.




I was in a private prep school on several athletic teams, and I used to peek at other guys in the shower room.

David was special to me, because it was the first time I was able to stare at a guy's "equipment" for a long time, without fear of being caught.

I was in the closet and had a strict mother that would have freaked out if she knew the true purpose of my fantasy photo. So my crush has been a complete secret until now. 

As has been the fact that I'm gay.

I'm over 50 now and still closeted. I guess the journey "out" is a personal one, and I'm now beginning to tell a few close friends. 

We'll see what happens.

In any case, even if I wasn't aware it was "gay", and I denied it to myself then, David Cassidy was my first.

George - New Hampshire
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Daniel Loves John Travolta!

My first gay crush was John Travolta.

As a young gay boy in the late 1970's, television was my refuge.

And that is where I first spotted him on "Welcome Back, Kotter."

When he came on the screen, I could not look away.



He had a bright smile like a 100-watt bulb, the bluest eyes I'd ever seen, and hair that defied gravity.

It was love from the very first moment I heard the words, "Up your nose, with a rubber hose!" He was definitely the breakout star of the show.

He was gorgeous and funny, and I was convinced I would marry him. I remember telling anybody in my family that would listen, 'I'm going to marry John Travolta!' And nobody flinched. My mom would even tell me when he was going to be on TV. It was all so ridiculously normal.

Today, when the gossip rags print rumors about him, I can’t help but feel sorry for him. I don't know what's true and what isn't. Only he really knows.
I just hope he's happy and healthy in his life.

I hope he is being true to himself, and I hope he is giving his kids the message that it's okay to love whomever you choose. His smile still makes my heart go pitter patter to this day.

Daniel - Chino Hills, California
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David Loves Shaun Cassidy!

I don't care if I am dating myself, but my first gay crush was
SHAUN CASSIDY, baby!

Shaun was bascially the Justin Beiber of the '70s.

In 1976 I was in the 1st grade, and I aked my parents to buy me a "Hardy Boys" poster.

Of course, I certainly never told them why I wanted it. And oddly enough, once I hit puberty, my sexual tastes developed in a completely different direction.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but these days I really go for the bear type of a man. And twinks - a la Shaun Cassidy - now leave me kinda clammy.

David - Memphis, TN
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