Saturday, December 1, 2012

Jude Loves Doctor Who!

My first gay crush was a TV character.

The Doctor is a time travelling alien/physician from the planet Gallifrey, who took human companions on great adventures. When I was around age 11, Doctor Who and the TARDIS materialized into my world, and I became obsessed with him and his magical blue box.

His character has currently been played by 11 actors, with Matt Smith as the latest incarnation. So over time, I fell in love with a character who is more than just one dimensional.

What makes the Doctor wonderful is that he makes you realize you are smart, clever, and brilliant. And my crush came at a time in my young life when I didn't see any role models that I identified with as a young man. 

He took companions in hand and introduced them to everything the universe has to offer - joys, wonders and horrors! And as Craig Ferguson sings: "Intellectualism and romance conquer over brute force and cynicism..."

Jude - Boulder, Colorado

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Steve Loves Mark Lester!

My first gay crush was UK actor Mark Lester. 

The year was 1969. I was 9, and he was 10. And he was SO cute, with an adorable singing voice.

I wanted to be his friend the moment I saw him.

Sitting in a darkened movie theater watching the movie "Oliver" with my entire 5th grade class, I was smitten with him.

This was long before any awareness of sex, but I was definitely aware of my attraction to Mark.

I wanted to live with him and the Artful Dodger 

(Jack Wild) and all of Fagin's boys. I wanted to share a bunk and swap shirts with him. And pick pockets with him, just like all the other scruffy kids in the gang.

Afterwards, my friends giggled about seeing "Nancy’s boobies" in her low-cut wench dress. 
I was mystified. Nancy? Who was watching Nancy? Certainly not me!

Long before I knew I was gay, I had a fondness for blondes, and Mark Lester was my first.

Steve - Austin, Texas

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Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dennis Loves Ike Eisenmann!

My first gay crush was on Ike Eisenmann.

I was 6 years old in 1975, and Ike as Tony in "Escape To Witch Mountain" was positively dreamy to me! I remember feeling incredibly warm whenever he would talk or use his powers to jump really high. He could just nod his head, and I got a tingly feeling all over my body.

My first thought was, "Wow, how awesome would it be to hang out with Tony?" Which led to thinking, "Tony and I could find the magic spaceship, and go flying around the galaxy having all kinds of outer-space adventures!"

This soon led to, "We can live together in outer space on the magical spaceship with nobody else but the two of us." Of course, Kim Richards was absent during all of this. Though I adored her, she just didn't fit in my 6-year-old brain's lovestruck narrative. Sorry, Kim!

I would literally BEG my mom to see it every single time it played in theaters. "Can't we wait for it to be on TV?," she would ask. "NoOOooOOoooOOO! It's better in the MOVIES!," I would whine.

The reason I loved the movie so much is that it's a metaphor to growing up different, which can certainly apply to being gay. The idea that something logical could explain how different I felt completely appealed to me. As did the idea of having authoritative power over bullies, being able to speak to animals, and move objects with one's mind. That was a level of control I found absent in much of my life.

My family never knew about my crush. I came out in high school, only to be utterly and totally ignored. It was as if I hadn't come out, and they still talk to me as if I'm straight. Nowadays, I don't talk to them much.

They figure if they ignore my special gay powers, I won't be dragged off to Mr. Bolt's evil estate, chased by hound dogs. But those of us from the Mountain, we know better. We can see the future.

Dennis - Portland, Oregon

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Monday, August 27, 2012

Akin Loves Eddie Cibrian!

My first gay crush was the very hot Eddie Cibrian!

I was 8 years old when I first saw him, as "Rock" from the film "But I'm A Cheerleader," which also featured RuPaul.

Although the film came out in 1999, I didn't see it until 2003.

And I swear I watched it at least twice a day, every day, for 2 and a half months!

And I specifically anticipated seeing him in the football scene. That's where "Rock" seduces some of the boys at the "True Directions" homosexuality rehab camp, by stroking a rather phallic rake and wearing a sweaty wife-beater tank-top and very tight denim shorts.

And I have never looked at my gardener quite the same since then. Coincidentally, two years ago I dated a boy for a few months who was called Eddie Serbian, and he worked alongside his father as a gardener/pool boy.

I asked my parents to hire them - which was before I came out and revealed that we were dating!

Akin - Bath, Somerset, England

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Dee Loves Jodie Foster!

My first gay girl crush was Jodie Foster!

I loved watching all those movies from the 70's and 80's, many of which featured Jodie Foster or Kristy McNichol.

I liked the fact that they weren't "girlie girls" even though I was at times.

I can't tell you how confused I was then, knowing that they were girls, but that I loved them so much!

It was kind of hard being a black girl and explaining that to oneself. I actually get breathless sometimes now, just thinking back about it.

I never told anyone about my crushes. If my family noticed, they haven't said anything to me about it.
I also loved Wonder Woman, but that's another story.

I'm still coming to terms with my sexuality.
But Jodie and Kristy still get me hot.

Dee - Savannah, Georgie

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Robert Loves Christopher Atkins!

I had my first two gay crushes simultaneously.

I was 8 years old in 1983, and I knew before this time that I liked boys. But when I saw Christopher Atkins in a sexy movie trailer for "A Night In Heaven," I knew this crush wasn't merely an innocent fling.

I clipped the ad out of our newspaper, and kept it hidden under my bed.

I then went outside my house to see if any neighbors had newspapers waiting for the garbageman to pick up. If so, I confiscated them to look for more ads with "A Night In Heaven," to clip and build my collection.

Then I saw an actual article for the movie with a picture of Christopher and co-star Lesley Anne Warren. He was barechested and I got so excited seeing this!

I was afraid of being caught with such hot material, so I didn't keep it. Such a pity!

Aside from Christopher, the other actor who excited me was the blond, hunky, and handsome Ted McGinley. At the time, he was starring on "Happy Days" and I watched the show each week just to catch him.

I think Ted has aged very well now, but I haven't seen a recent photo of Christopher in quite some time. But ever since 1983, all those blond and light-haired men have always rocked my world!

Robert - New Jersey

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Friday, June 29, 2012

Coline Loves Brigitte Bardot!

My first gay crush? The stunning Brigitte Bardot!

I loved her cascade of blond hair, her sweet face, and her beautiful mouth. She represents the women of the 1960's (an era I really love) and of freedom and youth.

She was different than the girls we see on TV or in magazines today. 

She was a natural beauty.

I think I was 14 when I saw her in the movie
"Et Dieu créa la Femme" - and I was hypnotized.

When she was dancing in the movie, I was fascinated. She was just the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and I wanted to look just like her.

A few months ago at a family dinner, we were all discussing gay-marriage (which is not yet legal in France), and what they said nearly made me cry.

My own family thinks gay people aren't normal. They say it's disgusting to see two men kiss each other. So I think I will never tell them I'm bisexual.

Coline - Saint Etienne, France

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Kevin Loves Justin Timberlake!

My first gay crush was Justin Timberlake.

I was in 8th grade, and I had seen some scenes in movies that intrigued me. 

But JT made it very clear to me that women weren't really going to be a part of my romantic life.

I still have a very vivid memory of the Rolling Stone cover he did when his solo album came out.

And every gay guy around my age knows exactly what I'm talking about!

Much to my delight, he did a whole photo shoot inside, and it was all online for me to secretly view whenever I desired. And being age 13, that was pretty often.

Even when I see a picture of him now, I usually have to drop whatever I'm doing and take a look.

Kevin - Chicago, Illinois

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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Scott Loves Dennis Cole!

My first gay crush was 70's TV actor Dennis Cole.

I had lots of crushes back then. I thought Bobby Sherman, Chad Everett, and Lyle Waggoner were awesome. I could go on and on.

But my biggest crush was on Dennis Cole.

I first saw him on the short lived TV show "Bracken's World."

And OMG!
I thought he was THE best looking man alive!

My mom bought me all the teen magazines that had his photos. I remember one feature in particular that showed him getting ready for a date, with a shirtless picture of him in the shower!

I would decoupage his photos on painted wood and stay up all night making Dennis bulletin boards.

Then he did a spread in Playgirl Magazine, and of course I had to have it! This featured another shower picture - and it showed his bare behind! I've since learned that he did a lot of beefcake and nude photography work early in his career.

When he passed away in 2009, all the childhood memories flooded back. Sure, being gay back then wasn't always easy. But there is so much of it that makes me smile. And I certainly wouldn't change anything about my growing up experiences, including my first gay crush.

Scott - Wisconsin

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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Amanda Loves Dr. Ariel Hanson!

My first bi crush was CGI, yet very real to me.

It was 2010, and I was very heterosexual. I was also in denial, severely depressed, and spent my time playing video games so I could ignore my feelings. The "StarCraft II" game was coming out soon, so I headed over to the Wiki to look at some things.

And there she was - Dr. Ariel Hanson - an adorable, kindhearted scientist who wanted nothing more than saving her people from invading aliens

At the time, I was caught up in thinking I had no one to take care of me, and my depression and anxiety were eating me from the inside out.

But if such a loving figure could be my friend, or even my... partner? Thinking about her made the negative thoughts stop, at least for a little while.

I denied it at first, but she never left me alone. If my mind was unoccupied, I thought about her. I wrote her name over and over in the margins of my notebooks. I eagerly awaited StarCraft II's release so I could see more than just her pretty face.

All the signs of a lovestruck teenager were there, but I ignored them for as long as I could. Then I came out to myself, and everything got easier.

I've told my mother and a few friends, but that's it. I still play video games, but strictly for enjoyment now.

Ariel's role in the game was disappointing, and I no longer need a coping mechanism. But she will always be special to me, because she set me free.

Amanda - Seattle, Washington


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Sunday, May 20, 2012

Michael Loves Rick Springfield!

My first gay crush was the
one and only Rick Springfield.

It was right around 1981, and I was age 11. I fell in love with his hit single "Jessie's Girl"
and then his other hits.

When I saw the back of his album cover with him in a wife-beater (we probably called them tank-tops back then), I SWOONED!

My mom even took me to see him in concert twice!

I had my mom buy me 16 Magazine and others like it, just so I could tear out his photos. In retrospect,
I wonder what my dad thought about the Rick centerfold I had plastered on the wall directly over my bed…?

Michael - Ft. Lauderdale, FL

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Thursday, May 10, 2012

Serena Loves Elizabeth Shue!

My first gay crush was actress Elizabeth Shue.

I was around 7 years old, when I first saw her in the movie "Cocktail" in 1988.

Even her character's name (Jordan Mooney) made me swoon.

In the movie, she plays a struggling artist (from an old-money/Upper East Side family, naturally) who we find skipping around Jamaica.

She eventually falls in love with Tom Cruise, who played a bartender. The moment I saw her - I was smitten. And the deal was sealed during the waterfall scene. Ever since then, I've had a thing for her.

I've always kept this crush to myself, but my
ex-girlfriend bears a stunning resemblance to her.

Serena - Los Angeles, CA


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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Bill Loves David Stollery!

My first gay crush was actor David Stollery.

"Spin and Marty" was an inclusion in the "Mickey Mouse Club" around 1955.

The setting was 

a perfect fantasy: A summer camp and a dude ranch with horses.

My crush was on Marty, the blond, boyish, effeminate outcast.

Spin was very masculine, from a poor urban family, who "spins" the lasso well. Marty was basically the femme to Spin's butch, the sissy spoiled rich kid. Gradually, Marty learns to become "one of the guys."

Other guys I've talked to mostly liked the more manly Marty. So this one is still a little embarrassing among my bear friends. 

David Stollery played several Disney roles, then went to art school and designed cars, including the 1978 Toyota Celica.

Everything was basically a secret in my family, including this crush of mine, so keeping this a secret was no problem.

I liked several other boyish, 1950's TV guys, including Dean Jones in "Ensign O'Toole" and Jackie Cooper in "The People’s Choice." 

Bill - Eagle Rock, LA CA

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Friday, April 20, 2012

Jeanie Loves Claire Danes!

Actress Claire Danes was my first gay crush.

Watching "My So Called Life" at age 13 in the early 90's, I thought I wanted to be Claire's character, Angela Chase.

It was that age-old lesbian conundrum:

Do I want to be her or
do I want to date her?

She was deep, she was alternative, she was cool, and she wore flannel.

I wanted it all - except NOT Jordan CatalanoI hated that she liked Jordan, then it dawned on me that I was just jealous. That's when I first thought I might be gay (and perhaps a little too into the show).

Also, Angela Chase was solely responsible for my horrible flannel phase in my early teens. Hey, it was the 90's, so give me a break.

I never told anyone about my crush, until recently. 
I find myself still having a thing for alternative girls, which I will always attribute to Claire Danes.

Jeanie - Louisville, KY

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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Frederic Loves Johnny Crawford!

I had my first gay crush on actor Johnny Crawford.

I grew up in Iowa, and when I was around 10-years old, my crush was on his character, Mark McCain. And I loved him so much!

Whenever he cried on the "The Rifleman," I just wanted to hug him and kiss him all over.

I loved his pouty mouth, and that sexy, hurt crack in his voice.

This crush on Johnny was part of my secret life, so no one ever knew I loved him until years later when I told gay friends. It turns out, lots of other gay boys loved Mark McCain, too. But I didn't know that at the time.

Besides, back then - Mark was mine alone!

Thanks. Nice website!
Frederic - Phoenix, AZ

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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Lauren Loves Cameron Diaz!

My first gay crush was actress Cameron Diaz.

I was 7-years old when a friend of my parents' had taken my sister and I to see "The Mask."

Afterwards, when she asked us each what we thought about the movie, my only response was:

"The pretty blonde lady made my tummy feel funny."

I don't remember saying this, but I do remember feeling happy and warm the whole rest of the night.

The truth is, I was stunned by the gorgeous blonde in a red dress, who danced like no one I'd ever dreamed of. She was sexy, she was smart, and she was troubled.

I would learn later in life that "troubled" is something I'm not only drawn to, but feel a strong urge to rectify. But most of all, she was mesmerizing.

It didn't matter that she worked for some sleazy guy, was forced into a relationship with him, or that she wasn't particulary well-spoken. When Cameron danced, sang, or even just walked into a room, everything else just kind of melted away.

My younger self seemed to have a strong affinity for blondes (Hello, Kelly Taylor!), and although I'm primarily drawn to brunettes nowadays, I will never forget that night -- or that red dress!

Lauren - New Brunswick, New Jersey

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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Ryan Loves Ryan Lambert!

My first gay crush was singer/actor Ryan Lambert.

As a kid in a small town in N. Carolina, music was my outlet. It was the 1980's, and pop music was totally AWESOME! I compulsively listened to pop radio, and I would just dance and dance.

"Kids Incorporated" was my favorite TV show on Sundays, and Ryan Lambert was just so adorable! He played guitar and had really great hair!

He was just rocker enough to be compelling - but wasn't threatening to a boy who practiced dance routines to Madonna, Stacey Q, and Debbie Gibson in his room.

I liked his voice and I imagined he was my dreamy boyfriend, so I could dance and play tambourine with him on stage. The intersection of sex, art, and music began for me with the very cute Mr. Ryan Lambert.

Ryan - N. Carolina

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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Justin Loves Austin St. John!

My first gay crush was actor Austin St. John.

I was 6 in 1993 when "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" first aired, and every Saturday morning I would plop down in front of the TV to watch it.

The original leader was the Red Ranger named Jason Lee Scott (played by Austin St. John).

Jason had defined muscles, a deep timbre to his voice, and he was strong and great at martial arts. Although I didn't know it at the time, I would say that he represented a perfect masculinity to me.

Though I didn't have any tangible sexual attraction to men or women, I was drawn to Jason. While all of my male friends talked about how pretty Kimberly the Pink Ranger was, I would just stare at Jason's arms and face while giving non-commital answers to the others.

We would get together in my backyard and pretend to be Power Rangers. I refused to be the Red Ranger and always played Billy (Blue Ranger), because I identified more as a geek. Plus, I couldn't pretend to be the person that I loved; that would have been too weird.

Austin St. John left the series in season two, and my heart broke. And I nearly fell off of the couch when I saw him return in 1996. By that point, I knew for sure that I was different than the other boys in school, but I rationalized my crush as, 'Oh, you just want to grow up to look like him.'

After all of these years, I still occasionally have dreams about being with him. In them, I'm jogging and I get attacked, and Jason comes and saves me in his red uniform. After saving me, he removes the uniform, and well - I'm sure you can imagine the rest...

Justin - Ohio

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Friday, February 24, 2012

Wayne Loves Christopher Reeve!

My first gay crush was Christopher Reeve/Superman.

I was 5-years old, and my uncle took me to see "Superman." I was so psyched because I had a few Superman comic books and finally I was going to see the 'real thing'.

When he finally appeared on screen, saving Lois Lane after she fell out of the helicopter, I was in awe over his smile and big blue eyes.

I had seen some old Superman shows on TV too, but Christopher as Superman was just amazing to me!

Wayne - Kenora, Ontario, Canada

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Frank Loves Elijah Wood!

My first gay crush was actor Elijah Wood.

Actually, my crush was on two boys that were just a few years older than me:

Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin.

It happened watching the movie, "The Good Son."

At that age, I had this idea that I wanted to be their "best friend" just to spend time with them. I liked them both in other movies, but I think "The Good Son" is what definitely confirmed my crush.

I'm 27-years old now and I've met them both at various times in my life after I turned 21. My crush for Elijah was still there, but that ended as soon as I saw the first "Lord of the Rings" movie.

As for Macaulay, I had the privilege to be on the set for the movie "Party Monster," with a good friend and mentor, Brian Warner (best known as Marilyn Manson).

The little that I got to talk to Macaulay, I accidently told him about my crush as a child.

He said it was nice yet innocent, but that people change... Huh?

Frank - Dallas, TX

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Frank Loves Richard Crenna!

My very first gay crush was actor Richard Crenna.

I first saw him at age 6.
He was playing Luke McCoy on TV's "The Real McCoys."

I thought actress Kathleen Nolan (Hassie McCoy) was the luckiest person in the world, to have a husband as handsome as Luke.

Eagerly waiting for each weekly episode, I also began to notice Pat Boone on his show that aired just before.

I found only one other (boy) friend who also shared my interest in Crenna and Boone, and we spent hours each week with our (girl) friends, excitingly comparing their contrasting handsomeness.

Frank - Fall River, MA

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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Kim Loves Winona Ryder!

My first gay crush was actress Winona Ryder.

I was 19, when I saw her on a "Rolling Stone" magazine cover.

Seeing her at that time was my "When I knew for sure moment."

I would just stare at her in the checkout aisle at the grocery store.

Her hair, those eyes, her lips, those twisted up overalls, and no shirt.

It was amazing, and I've always remembered it. I didn't know if I wanted to be her or be with her. But I was definitely OK with either applied to me.

My girlfriend always says she's going to look for an original copy of the magazine on Ebay and buy it and frame it for me. :)

Kim - Columbus, Ohio

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

John Loves Vince Van Patten!

My first gay crush was actor Vince Van Patten!

I had a habit of staring at my sister's Bobby Sherman poster, sneaking her Tiger Beat magazines into my room, and being very into Lance Kerwin from TV's "James At 15."

But my first, real, "OMG!" gay crush was at age 9 in 1975, and saw Vince Van Patten on the TV show, "Apple's Way."

He started my infatuations with blond, surfer types. As a skinny kid with boring brown hair, it was a type I wanted, and wanted to be.

In addition to acting, Vince played tennis, and seeing him in those tight, 1970's tennis shorts made me feel all funny inside.

John - Portland, OR

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Friday, January 13, 2012

Hilary Loves Lucy Lawless!

Lucy Lawless as "Xena: Warrior Princess"
was my first gay crush.

Actually, it was Lucy and Renée O'Connor as "Gabrielle" who were my first lesbian crushes.

I was 9, and still absolutely clueless about my own sexuality, but from the time I found the show in 1997, I never missed an episode.

Xena was who I idolized and wanted to be, and Gabrielle was the woman I wanted at my side.

I don't think I ever actually admitted my crush to anyone, and no one ever questioned it. Probably because I also watched shows like "Hercules,""The Adventures of Sinbad," and "Beast Master." But anyone who watched those shows knows they were loaded with more hot babes than any show with female protagonists.

Back then, I thought Xena and Gabrielle were more than friends, but I was so naive that I didn't even know women could be together that way. So they remained best friends in my mind, due to my limited knowledge.

Looking back, I can't help but wonder - even at such a young age - if I was picking up on the lesbian subtext.

Hilary - Saskatchewan, Canada

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