Victor Loves River Phoenix!

My first gay crush was actor River Phoenix.

And more specifically, his character Chris Chambers in the movie "Stand By Me."

I remember that I was shocked by his beauty.

I was roughly 12 in the early 2000's when I saw the movie for the first time. I loved how he was tough and a rebel, but also very sensitive and sad inside.

I was very sensitive too, and I remember crying at every emotional scene he had with his friend Gordie. What moved me the most was how he was being protective with him, even with his own problems.

At the time, I wanted to see them as a sort of couple, so I was jealous of Gordie and thought he was annoying and selfish. Ha ha!

Oh, and I also remember re-watching the scene with River shirtless with the leeches. I had to watch that scene covertly when my parents weren't around!

Victor - Avignon, France

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Sophie Loves Kate Winslet!

My first gay crush was actress Kate Winslet. 

At age 9, I totally fell for her in 1997. To me, she was simply the most beautiful creature in existence. 

There was just something about her that made me dizzy and made my heart ache.

I would stare at her picture for hours and try to draw her, dreaming up all sorts of plots and scenarios in which I'd get to meet her. I remember busily collecting "Titanic" posters and pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio with my friends. I had a strange little crush on Leonardo as well, which, in retrospect, seems just as gay?

I remember asking them, 'But don't you just think KATE WINSLET is b e a u t i f u l ?' I couldn't understand why they weren't as into her as I was.

My mom said I was too young to see "Titanic," so we rented "Sense & Sensibility" instead. 

I remember being terrified there would be a nude scene, and everyone would be able to tell what I was thinking. 

Kate just tore a hole in my heart that day. 

And even without a nude scene, I was blushing and excited all over throughout the entire film. 

Sophie - Vienna, Austria

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Paul Loves Seann William Scott!

Thinking back, it’s hard to remember my exact first gay crush. However, the front runner to this day has to be Seann William Scott!

I had older sisters and was allowed to watch the "American Pie" movies. I was a 10 year old in Northern California when the first one came out, and I was in love. 

Yup, I was in love with the guy who played Steve Stifler. I don’t know if it was the arrogant attitude, his womanizing antics, and/or overtly sexual behavior - but boy, was I in love! He was a total jerk, but his body was perfect.

I was unaware that this would explain the type of guys I’ve dated as an adult! But besides that, I followed all his movies, and one of my favorites was “Road Trip.” 

Embarrassingly enough, it's because of the scene at a sperm bank. He gets his prostate stimulated by a woman, and watching him enjoy that was the pinnacle of prepubescent "alone time" in my room.

That eventually lead to me getting caught watching that scene on repeat. Although my sister heard the scene repeating from my room, it was still my big secret. Or so I thought!

To this day, I still get excited whenever I see him in a movie or on TV. And I can’t wait for the "American Pie Reunion"!!!

Paul - San Francisco, CA

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Erin Loves Natalie Portman!

My first gay crush was actress Natalie Portman.

It was in the year 2000, the year after "The Phantom Menace" hit theaters.

I was 8-years old when I finally embraced my geeky side, because I became a total "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" nerd.

And one of the reasons was Natalie Portman.

I consider her to be my first real crush.

She was so strong on the screen as Padme Amidala, and that inner strength and beauty colored all of her subsequent roles. 

I could also see that in "V For Vendetta" when she was playing Evie Hammond - and sported that wonderful buzz cut at the end!

My wildest fantasies came true when I saw her as ballerina Nina in the amazing film "Black Swan," where she was in bed with Mila Kunis. 

By that point I was sixteen, and it was then that I realized that I was lesbian. And nothing made me feel more warm and tingly than seeing two beautiful women in bed together.

I came out on February 14th 2012 because I was tired of being alone on Valentine's Day. So here's to not being alone next year!

Erin, Vermont

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Thomas Loves Matthew Lawrence!

My first gay crush was actor Matthew Lawrence.

I first became aware of him on the show "Blossom" in 1991, when he played a younger version of his real-life brother Joey’s character in the show.

I was 12, and saw him shirtless in a scene. And I just remember feeling this… flutter, I guess.

And when he played Robin William's son in "Mrs Doubtfire," I was just totally crazy over him.

I don't think I've missed anything he's ever been in. And I promise you, he's been in some bad stuff. But all he'd have to do is smile and I couldn't take my eyes off him.

At 13 years old, I found out he was born Feb. 11, 1980 - just 9 days from my own birthday - which made me giddy. I would fantasize about meeting him, and telling him this quirky fact. We'd hit it off and it would be like fate.

Next we'd be alone, him laying on top of me with his tongue in my mouth. Of course, that fantasy usually ended with me hiding in my room, taking my "daydreaming" to it's natural conclusion.

Here it is 2013, and I still really do have a crush on this gorgeous man. It's pretty well known now among family and friends that I am utterly infatuated with this guy.

I recently discovered a scene he did from an indie movie called "Trucker." He's in a sex scene, and even though it’s with a woman, mentally I'm switching her out for me every time I watch it. 

Which is probably once a day!

Thomas - Corning, NY
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Jude Loves Doctor Who!

My first gay crush was a TV character.

The Doctor is a time travelling alien/physician from the planet Gallifrey, who took human companions on great adventures. When I was around age 11, Doctor Who and the TARDIS materialized into my world, and I became obsessed with him and his magical blue box.

His character has currently been played by 11 actors, with Matt Smith as the latest incarnation. So over time, I fell in love with a character who is more than just one dimensional.

What makes the Doctor wonderful is that he makes you realize you are smart, clever, and brilliant. And my crush came at a time in my young life when I didn't see any role models that I identified with as a young man. 

He took companions in hand and introduced them to everything the universe has to offer - joys, wonders and horrors! And as Craig Ferguson sings: "Intellectualism and romance conquer over brute force and cynicism..."

Jude - Boulder, Colorado

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Akin Loves Eddie Cibrian!

My first gay crush was the very hot Eddie Cibrian!

I was 8 years old when I first saw him, as "Rock" from the film "But I'm A Cheerleader," which also featured RuPaul.

Although the film came out in 1999, I didn't see it until 2003.

And I swear I watched it at least twice a day, every day, for 2 and a half months!

And I specifically anticipated seeing him in the football scene. That's where "Rock" seduces some of the boys at the "True Directions" homosexuality rehab camp, by stroking a rather phallic rake and wearing a sweaty wife-beater tank-top and very tight denim shorts.


And I have never looked at my gardener quite the same since then. Coincidentally, two years ago I dated a boy for a few months who was called Eddie Serbian, and he worked alongside his father as a gardener/pool boy.

I asked my parents to hire them - which was before I came out and revealed that we were dating!

Akin - Bath, Somerset, England
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Kevin Loves Justin Timberlake!

My first gay crush was Justin Timberlake.

I was in 8th grade, and I had seen some scenes in movies that intrigued me. 

But JT made it very clear to me that women weren't really going to be a part of my romantic life.

I still have a very vivid memory of the Rolling Stone cover he did when his solo album came out.

And every gay guy around my age knows exactly what I'm talking about!

Much to my delight, he did a whole photo shoot inside, and it was all online for me to secretly view whenever I desired. And being age 13, that was pretty often.

Even when I see a picture of him now, I usually have to drop whatever I'm doing and take a look.

Kevin - Chicago, Illinois
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Amanda Loves Dr. Ariel Hanson!

My first bi crush was CGI, yet very real to me.

It was 2010, and I was very heterosexual. I was also in denial, severely depressed, and spent my time playing video games so I could ignore my feelings. The "StarCraft II" game was coming out soon, so I headed over to the Wiki to look at some things.

And there she was - Dr. Ariel Hanson - an adorable, kindhearted scientist who wanted nothing more than saving her people from invading aliens

At the time, I was caught up in thinking I had no one to take care of me, and my depression and anxiety were eating me from the inside out.

But if such a loving figure could be my friend, or even my... partner? Thinking about her made the negative thoughts stop, at least for a little while.

I denied it at first, but she never left me alone. If my mind was unoccupied, I thought about her. I wrote her name over and over in the margins of my notebooks. I eagerly awaited StarCraft II's release so I could see more than just her pretty face.

All the signs of a lovestruck teenager were there, but I ignored them for as long as I could. Then I came out to myself, and everything got easier.

I've told my mother and a few friends, but that's it. I still play video games, but strictly for enjoyment now.


Ariel's role in the game was disappointing, and I no longer need a coping mechanism. But she will always be special to me, because she set me free.

Amanda - Seattle, Washington
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Rachael Loves Starfire!

My first gay crush was both Starfire (voiced by Hynden Walch) and Raven (voiced by Tara Strong) from Cartoon Network's "Teen Titans."

I loved Starfire's naive unfamiliarity with Planet Earth, and Raven's witty, cynical nature. I was very enamored by their fantastic superpowers and, of course, perfect, animated bodies.

I didn't know at the time that what I was experiencing was my first gay crushes(who did?), but the two of them turned out to be the model for the women I like today.

I even tried to make myself a Raven costume, which just ended up being a lot of purple fabric scraps. My mom thought that was the cutest thing ever. But she's still unaware of just how deep my "hero worship" - pun intended - truly went.

Rachael - Kentucky
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Sean Loves Leonardo DiCaprio!

My first gay crush was Leonardo DiCaprio.

I was in the 6th grade and really didn't have much of an idea that I was gay. At that point in time, the only minority I associated with was the group of kids that only ever wore sweatpants to school.

I remember the Batman & Robin issue of Disney Adventures magazine had arrived at home, and there was an article on Leo, because "Titanic" was coming out soon. And something changed for me that day.

Among all the pictures of George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell in rubber, I couldn't stop looking at the pictures of DiCaprio. It was verging on obsession.

The week after the magazine had arrived, I stayed home from school one day. I was a good kid, so my parents trusted me to be home alone. Well, let's just say things happened for me that had never happened before. And the Disney Adventures magazine was a little worse for the wear because of it...

Sean - Cincinnati, OH
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Jules Loves Zachary Quinto!

My first gay crush was Zachary Quinto
as Sylar/Gabriel Gray on "Heroes."

I know it wasn't the best show, but for some reason I kept watching. Not a big mystery with him on the show.

So, at age 14, I was head over heels for a telekinetic serial killer, who cut open peoples' skulls to study their brains.

I probably thought it was some kind of sex metaphor?

There's something about those huge but well-shaped eyebrows, and his rather large nose. I was in gay Jewish heaven, even if he's actually Irish-Italian.
After a few episodes, my gaze drifted downward.

He was fit, had clear skin, and he had some fine chest hair. I was in love with everything about him, serial killer or not. And I've had an enduring celebrity crush ever since.

The only trouble my crush got me in, was mentioning Sylar to my SECOND gay crush when we talked about it: "He is creepy. But oh my Zeus, what a hottie!"

Jules - New Orleans, LA
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Ramon Loves Michael Bergin!

I'd have to say that my first major gay crush was
Michael Bergin as J.D. Darius on "Baywatch!"

This show was a huge part of my sexual awakening as a child. I was about 12 when I started watching it, and I knew I loved me some men - but this was when
I realized I had a passion for them. Especially looking at Michael, and I couldn't believe my eyes!


Oh, those 6-pack abs, huge pecs, muscular arms, broad shoulders, gorgeous back, flawless tan skin, and his beautiful face. It was true love!
I was so obsessed, I even took swimming lessons!

I couldn't get enough of him running and swimming in those red shorts. I so wanted to 'drown' at a beach, with that hunk on top of me, giving mouth to mouth.


Michael still has a special place in my heart, and not just because he still has it totally goin' on.
With his beauty and sexual charm, he gave joy and hope to a chubby, awkward outcast who was realizing how most of the world viewed gay people.

Love you, Michael!

Ramon - California
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Gustavo Loves Josh Hartnett!

I had my first gay crush when I was about 10.
It was Josh Hartnett in the movie "Pearl Harbor."

At that time I don't think I even knew what being gay was.

But I did know there was something about it that made me go crazy.

Many people didn't like this movie, claiming that it was too slow or too romantic to be considered a real war movie. 

As if I cared!

I asked my dad to buy it for me and he agreed.

He must have thought, "That's a war movie, the kind of movie I want my boy watching." Ha! Little did he know (or myself, for that matter) that the real reason I loved this movie was the fact that I was developing an early fixation for men in uniform.

When I finally got my hands on the DVD, I found myself watching the sex scene between Josh and Kate Beckinsale over and over again. I have never in my life been so jealous of a person, as I was of her.

I soon realized I didn't like this movie for the same reason as other boys. And to this day, I think dog tags are the sexiest accessory a man can wear.

Gustavo - Milan, Italy
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Brian Loves Lance Bass!

My first gay crush was Lance Bass from *NSync

Which is strange, as I definitely didn’t know I was gay at the time.

I didn’t even know what the heck gay meant, except it’s what all the boys called you when you annoyed them.

But there was always something about Lance Bass that attracted me.

He's the reason I was on Team *NSync instead of Team Backstreet Boys.

Although, Nick Carter was nothing to sneeze at, either...

While all the girls drooled over Justin Timberlake as lead singer - and all the boys were proclaiming how gay the boy bands were, all the while ogling Britney Spears - I had my eye on Lance.

At least I had good Gaydar for a 10-year old...

Brian
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