Philip Loves David McCallum!

Back in the 1960's, before I even knew what our naughty bits were for, I would find myself unable to stand up in front of my parents, after watching
"The Man From U.N.C.L.E." on TV.

All thanks to David McCallum as the Russian super spy, Illya Kuryakin. As I look back, what is important to me was the awareness I had. Even at that young age, I knew that I liked boys. Er, men.

Illya was in good company in my crush category since then, with actor Peter O'Toole and David Bowie also on the list. Somehow, it always came down to those slender, blond, UK guys for me.

Philip - New York, NY
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Barbara Loves Yvette Mimieux!

I was around 10-years old, and my first gay crush
was 1960's actress Yvette Mimieux.

As the frail, emo girl in "Where The Boys Are," Yvette needed to be rescued. And I was just the one to do it.

Then on TV in 1964, she was Dr. Kildare's one true love.

As a surfer girl with epilepsy, she couldn't give up surfing, even though her condition made it dangerous.



That sealed my obsession with Yvette. I fantasized about saving her from fatal surfing accidents, and making her promise to only go surfing with me.


I had a relationship with another Yvette as an adult. And the theme was pretty much the same.

Barbara - Woodstock, NY
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Tony Loves Sgt. Knox!

My first gay crush was Sgt. Knox.

I was age 7 in 1980, and I was addicted to Japanese Anime.

Growing up outside of Boston, I would watch "Star Blazers" on TV, religiously at 3PM every weekday on the UHF dial.

Remember the UHF dial, people?

The show centered around a crew following a signal from a distant planet. On the way there, they picked up a bunch of Space Marines from the edge of our solar system, to help save the Earth.

The leader of those space marines was a man named Sgt. Knox. And in a moment, my taste in men was formed for the rest of my life.
Knox was loud, brash, and occasionally crude. Built like a Mack truck, he didn't take crap from anyone. The American dub featured a voice actor who sounded like he was from Long Island or New Jersey, which only made him even more compelling.

I suppose the subtextual military homoeroticism might have set off my nascent Gaydar, but I think the scene where we got to see Knox bare-assed also may have been a factor. And I was in love.

Those eyebrows! Those teeth! That huge f*cking gun!
His belt had a lot of pouches, like a handy lesbian.

AND HE HAS KNEE PADS BUILT INTO HIS UNIFORM!

Since my first gay crush was a cartoon character, there wasn't much chance of meeting him in real life. But he secured my attraction to square-jawed bears. They protect you from aliens!!!

Tony - Los Angeles, CA
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Dave Loves Pernell Roberts!

My first gay crush was Pernell Roberts
on TV's "Bonanza."

Growing up in rural Mississippi in the 60's, I busied myself with the world of television.

My other fave shows were "The Fugitive" (especially for David Janssen) and "Lost In Space." 

But I felt Dr. Smith was rather "queeny," and I wondered why Will Robinson's parents allowed their son around such a flamboyant man.

Matt Dillon on "Gunsmoke" was another arousal back then, too. But it was seeing Pernell Roberts' chest hair on "Bonanza" that sealed it for me - that I was not like the other boys in the neighborhood.

And, I wasn't concentrating on how to play Cowboys & Indians - I was concentrating on him.

I'd hoped when the cast of "Bonanza" was in town at the state fair that I'd get to meet him. 

Instead, they sent Michael Landon to represent the cast, and it was my older brother who was fascinated to meet him.



And for me, to this day, a man with a hairy chest will always get my fancy. Thanks to Pernell Roberts.

Dave - Jackson, MS
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Joshua Loves Neil Patrick Harris!

My first gay crush was Neil Patrick Harris,
as TV's Doogie Howser.

I watched the show as a kid with the rest of my family. I remember being obsessed with his hair, and wanting to touch it.

Like a silly child, I imagined him in his Dr. uniform, and we would hold hands and kiss.

But he resembled every blond-haired, blue-eyed boy I had as friends and crushes growing up.

While I didn't identify myself as gay until I was about 12-years old, my crushes always seemed like normal infatuations to me.

And since I was convinced that I would grow up to be a doctor too, I thought he was the perfect man for me. I got a real thrill when he came out as gay, and I hope one day I can actually meet him.


Joshua - Los Angeles, CA
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Mark Loves Brian Oldfield!

I was 11-years old, and my first gay crush
was Olympic shotputter Brian Oldfield.

I hated sports growing up. So when my brother and sister got to go to the Oympic trials in Eugene, OR in 1975, I certainly wasn't jealous.

But then I saw the pictures they brought home. And there was a snap of a massive man, with a mop of blond hair, in tight Levis, walking into the crowd.

I don't know where the pic is now, but I remember Brian Oldfield's quads in those jeans, and his smile into the camera. And I quickly snatched that photo for my private "Pee-Chee" school notebook.

The family seemed concerned about me during those Olympics. Because I, who had never taken any interest in sports whatsoever, was suddenly fascinated by a certain shotputter. Of course, I told everyone how much I just loved Brian Oldfield.

The Catholic strategy of keeping sex at bay with silence completely failed. And no one remembered to tell me that crushing out on 70's, golden-haired brawny Gods was "wrong."


By the time my new obsession appeared in Sports Illustrated in a certain red white and blue singlet, the deed had been done. I was as sure of who I loved as certainly as my brothers were sure of their love of Farrah Fawcett!

Mark - Los Angeles, CA
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Winter Loves Esteban!

My first ever gay crush was Esteban, from the
80's cartoon "The Mysterious Cities of Gold."

I was around 8-years old when I first saw the show, and I was incredibly drawn to his character.

Even then, I felt different from my peers. And the way he gathers other outcasts to join him on his travels, was my first glimpse into building a family of choice.

There was a scene where he bathes naked in a river, and I have a vague memory of my mom scolding me for getting too close to the TV screen, as I stared in rapt fascination. I found out years later that she told my grandmother she suspected I might be gay.

I'm sure that I mentioned to a few people that I "really liked" Esteban. I don't know if I was obvious about it being a crush, though. I guess I wouldn't have made any effort to hide it, because I didn't realize that most boys didn't crush on other boys. That realization came when I was older.

Winter - Raymond, NH
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Kathy Loves Lindsay Wagner!

It was 1976, I was 11, and my first gay crush
was Lindsay Wagner, as TV's "The Bionic Woman"

I watched "The Six Million Dollar Man," and loved that a female bionic character was introduced. 

And then she got her own show!

I was in my 20's when I FINALLY figured it out that I was gay.

And realized why I was so transfixed by Lindsay Wagner so long ago. I had a mad crush on that hot woman!

Jaime Sommers was athletic, independent, and smart.
She had speedy legs and a tennis-ball-crushing arm.
But she also had confidence and a wonderful gentleness, all wrapped up in that unpretentious, naturally beautiful face and body.


She was undeniably sexy, but didn't need to act frilly or bat her eyelashes. She was a bit of a tomboy like me, and I wanted to be like her. I even wished she could be my 6th grade school teacher.

I didn't understand my feelings back then, but even in my naive pre-pubescence, I knew my fascination with her went beyond that of my friends who also watched the show. Now I understand.

I've had more gay crushes over the years: Kate Jackson in "Charlie's Angels," Kristy McNichol in "Family," Kelly McGillis in "Top Gun," and the ubiquitous gay girl crush on Nancy McKeon in "The Facts of Life."
But it's true: we never forget our first crush.

Thinking of Lindsay still makes me smile today.
We should get together to discuss our Sleep Numbers... ;)

Kathy - Portland, OR
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Magno Loves Macaulay Culkin!

Macaulay Caulkin was my first gay crush.

I was around 10-years old, and loved watching him on the "Wish Kid" TV show.

He's a bit older than me, but since this aired here in Brazil a few years after it aired in the US, it was like we were the same age.

The show was animated, but Macaulay is seen in person at the start of each episode. 

And I was totally in love with him!

I would daydream about him all the time. I even dreamed of us meeting and dating. It was never any sort of sexual fantasy, though. After all, I was just a kid and so was he.

Later I was introduced to "Home Alone" (and its sequels), and I was still terribly in love with him. And it was me who fancied being alone with him! Wish kid thinking, right? Hahaha!

I don't recall when that crush silliness wore off, but today when I watch Macaulay - and I did see "Party Monster" BECAUSE of him - I don't have any kind of romantic feelings towards him at all.

Magno - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Karen Loves Elizabeth Montgomery!

My first gay crush was Elizabeth Montgomery.

I was age 6, and I thought she was so beautiful. But I was completely baffled by Samantha's willingness to marry dorky Darren, and to try to please him all the time.

My first feminist thought was: Why would a woman with that kind of power give it up for a man?

I also adored Samantha's mother, Endora, mostly because she constantly made fun of Darren. I can clearly remember thinking Samantha should keep her sweetness, but be powerful and exotic like Endora.


I didn't know what gay meant then, I just knew I loved Samantha. And if I married her, I'd let her be herself and use her magic. 

I knew I could make her happy!

Yes, a witch pretending to be mortal just to please someone was a perfect metaphor for a lesbian growing up in the early 70's. I didn't figure that out until many years later.

By then, I understood how society worked, and would disguise my crushes by saying I wanted to be like a female character. Or that I "admired" a certain female actress. I disguised them even from myself.

But at age 6, I didn't have to lie to myself. It seemed perfectly normal wanting to marry Samantha.

Karen - Minnesota
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - www.BornThisWayBlog.com

Jules Loves Zachary Quinto!

My first gay crush was Zachary Quinto
as Sylar/Gabriel Gray on "Heroes."

I know it wasn't the best show, but for some reason I kept watching. Not a big mystery with him on the show.

So, at age 14, I was head over heels for a telekinetic serial killer, who cut open peoples' skulls to study their brains.

I probably thought it was some kind of sex metaphor?

There's something about those huge but well-shaped eyebrows, and his rather large nose. I was in gay Jewish heaven, even if he's actually Irish-Italian.
After a few episodes, my gaze drifted downward.

He was fit, had clear skin, and he had some fine chest hair. I was in love with everything about him, serial killer or not. And I've had an enduring celebrity crush ever since.

The only trouble my crush got me in, was mentioning Sylar to my SECOND gay crush when we talked about it: "He is creepy. But oh my Zeus, what a hottie!"

Jules - New Orleans, LA
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - www.BornThisWayBlog.com

Charles Loves Prince Valiant!

I was a kid way back in the 1940's, and my first gay crush was Prince Valiant from the comic strip.

Prince Valiant was the hero. He had blue/black page boy hair, a square jaw, broad shoulders, and brilliant blue eyes.

It took me many years to understand what my attraction really meant.

But, I knew he was an icon that was vibrating something deep inside me.

And how does one explain a child's spontaneous reaction to an archetype? We are sexual from birth, and this imaginary, youthful, handsome male from the late dark ages captivated me. "Valiant" means brave, bold, and courageous. And I admired his strength, beauty, and heroic qualities.

We are such visual beings.
And we clearly respond to these things from birth.

Charles - Philadelphia, PA
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - www.BornThisWayBlog.com

Jim Loves Ringo Starr!

I had lots of gay crushes, but Ringo Starr
was my first real, celebrity gay crush.

When I saw The Beatles on the "Ed Sullivan Show" in 1964, my heart started pounding hard.

Then I felt somthing going on inside my jeans...

When they zoomed in on Ringo playing the drums,
I bent down and kissed him on the TV. My mom saw this and asked me what I was doing.

"I'm kissing Ringo. He is so cute. I just love him," I said. Then mom looked at me and said, "It's a good thing your dad didn't see you do that. He would have had your heiny."

I turned around and looked at mom, and said,
"So what if he saw me kissing the TV. I don't care. Besides, he doesn't care about me anyway. I wish grandma was alive. She would understand how I feel."

Then my mom came over and gave me a hug, saying
"I understand how you feel. I'm very proud of you."

Thanks, mom!

Jim - Bear Valley, WI
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - www.BornThisWayBlog.com

Henry Loves Bobby Sherman!

My first gay crush was singer Bobby Sherman.
I loved his long hair and his smile.

I'm a 47-year old gay guy who has a very vivid memory of my first gay crush, though I'm not sure I was aware what it all meant at the time.

I had seen Bobby on "Here Comes The Brides," a hybrid comedy/drama western TV show. I'd also seen some of his records as cardboard cutouts on the back of Post Cereal.

My memory is of me marching into kindergarten one morning, and telling all my friends that I had a dream that Bobby Sherman kissed me. I can still remember a lot of the details of that day very well (weird, I know). No one seemed to raise an eyebrow. A few kids said that was cool, and then we went back to playing at recess.

Much, much later I discovered this video of Bobby singing "Easy Come, Easy Go," my favorite song of his. Have you ever seen a hotter, tighter pair of leather pants?!?


I'm glad I didn't see that video when I was young, or I'm sure my head would have exploded from the excitement/hormones, etc. This memory is the thing I point to when asked whether I think I was born gay.
And I would say "Yes, I was"

I didn't act on my sexuality until much later,
but Bobby Sherman is the first gay-related memory
I have. And the memory is very strong to this day.

Henry - Atlanta, GA
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - www.BornThisWayBlog.com

Brian Loves Shaun Cassidy!

During the summer of 1977 when I was 15,
I had my first big gay crush on Shaun Cassidy.

I loved Shaun's big puppy-dog eyes, big smile, long perfect hair, and his tight pants!

Shaun had just come out with his first album - yes, on vinyl, in 1977 - and was also on TV.


He played Joe Hardy, with Parker Stevenson - who wasn't too bad looking himself! - in "The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries" on Sunday nights.

I watched every episode. But my favorite showed Shaun keep reaching into his pocket to play a tape recorder.

Every time they showed a close-up of his pocket, they would show some of his hairy leg as well.

My young heart was pounding away! But my older brother complained about why they kept showing him playing his tape recorder. "Who cares," I thought, "I hope his pocket tears wide open!"

That summer while driving on a family vacation,
I would try to find his song, "Da Doo Ron Ron" on the radio. And again, my older brothers complained. They said they didn't want to hear him.


Going through puberty, I not only had my first crush, but I also learned to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself. And, I was taught shame and guilt very well by my family!

Brian - Royal Oak, MI
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