Sophie Loves Kate Winslet!

My first gay crush was actress Kate Winslet. 

At age 9, I totally fell for her in 1997. To me, she was simply the most beautiful creature in existence. 

There was just something about her that made me dizzy and made my heart ache.

I would stare at her picture for hours and try to draw her, dreaming up all sorts of plots and scenarios in which I'd get to meet her. I remember busily collecting "Titanic" posters and pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio with my friends. I had a strange little crush on Leonardo as well, which, in retrospect, seems just as gay?

I remember asking them, 'But don't you just think KATE WINSLET is b e a u t i f u l ?' I couldn't understand why they weren't as into her as I was.

My mom said I was too young to see "Titanic," so we rented "Sense & Sensibility" instead. 

I remember being terrified there would be a nude scene, and everyone would be able to tell what I was thinking. 

Kate just tore a hole in my heart that day. 

And even without a nude scene, I was blushing and excited all over throughout the entire film. 

Sophie - Vienna, Austria

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Paul Loves Seann William Scott!

Thinking back, it’s hard to remember my exact first gay crush. However, the front runner to this day has to be Seann William Scott!

I had older sisters and was allowed to watch the "American Pie" movies. I was a 10 year old in Northern California when the first one came out, and I was in love. 

Yup, I was in love with the guy who played Steve Stifler. I don’t know if it was the arrogant attitude, his womanizing antics, and/or overtly sexual behavior - but boy, was I in love! He was a total jerk, but his body was perfect.

I was unaware that this would explain the type of guys I’ve dated as an adult! But besides that, I followed all his movies, and one of my favorites was “Road Trip.” 

Embarrassingly enough, it's because of the scene at a sperm bank. He gets his prostate stimulated by a woman, and watching him enjoy that was the pinnacle of prepubescent "alone time" in my room.

That eventually lead to me getting caught watching that scene on repeat. Although my sister heard the scene repeating from my room, it was still my big secret. Or so I thought!

To this day, I still get excited whenever I see him in a movie or on TV. And I can’t wait for the "American Pie Reunion"!!!

Paul - San Francisco, CA

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Jeffrey Loves Kent McCord!

My first gay crush was actor Kent McCord!

He was special to me, because it was the earliest time I can recall staring at a man's face on television. 

As Officer Reed on "Adam-12" he was serious, clean cut, and professional.

He was a hero, a cop, and he sure looked good wearing that police uniform. 

And he was, in my opinion, unbelievably handsome. 

Even at 5 years-old, I knew I wanted to be married to him.

I loved watching "Adam-12" even though I didn't even understand what was going on most of the time. Also, my parents often sent me to bed before the show finished.

I kept my crush a secret from everyone. I was way too young to know what 'gay' meant anyway. But I did know it wasn't socially acceptable.

Jeffrey - Portsmouth, Virginia
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Larry Loves Ron Ely!

My first gay crush was Ron Ely of “Tarzan” fame. 

I have very fond memories of watching weekend afternoon reruns of "Tarzan" when I was around age 12 to 14 years old.

I believe his stint as “Tarzan” ran from ’66 through ’68.

At the time, I didn’t exactly understand why I was so drawn to him, but I sure do now. 

That handsome face, those lips, his hair.
And that very daring and teasing loin cloth! 

I vaguely remember often visualizing rescue scenarios as I was falling asleep at night, imagining him as my hunky older savior. 

This is probably why I’ve always preferred men a bit older than me.

Larry - Atlanta, Georgia

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Dor Loves George Michael!

My first gay crush was George Michael! 
Oh, those white teeth and charming smile. 

In 1984 I was 14, and Wham! had just come into my life. Somehow Annie Lennox was also on the list as she was so damn androgynous and amazing.
And Boy George was on my list as well.

But George Michael was my main man, my young gun, and my careless whisper all rolled into one lovely Grecian God!


I used to imagine that "Club Tropicana" was a real place and I dreamed of working there. 

To this day, Wham! remains in my music mix and George remains a full blown crush, alas only figuratively.  

When George came out, I was so relieved and happy for him. With that white speedo and sparkling smile, I think we all knew it all along. 

Long live the 80's! 

Dor - Portland, Oregon 
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Chazzy Loves Bluto!

My first gay crush was Bluto!
In the early 60's when I was 7-years old, I watched Popeye cartoons on TV after school.

Popeye's arch nemesis and rival for the attention of Olive Oyl was a bearded, aggressively masculine sailor named Bluto.   

Bluto had huge shoulders and curvaceous pectoral muscles that were visible right through his sailor uniform. He would try to impress Olive and intimidate Popeye by flexing his huge biceps. This gave Olive palpitations and would send Popeye into a jealous rage. 

The animators gave Bluto various roles like cowboy, lifeguard, lumberjack, and biker. These all made him a virile counterpoint to the wussy, spaghetti-armed Popeye. 

In one cartoon I remember vividly, he was a circus strongman dressed in a black speedo and yellow tank-top. He made his muscles dance, bent steel bars, and lifted huge barbells as everyone in the crowd watched in awe. 

When little goody-two-shoes Popeye ate his spinach and beat him to a pulp, it was a travesty that my young mind just couldn't comprehend! I tried to talk with my little friends about how cool Bluto was and how he deserved to win at least once in a while. 

But they weren't having any of it. To them, Bluto was 'the bad guy' and that was that. 

I swiftly learned to pretend that I liked Popeye better so that nobody would suspect that I was 'weird.' 

Chazzy - Connecticut
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Dane Loves Scott Baio!

My first gay crush was Scott Baio!

Back in the 8th grade, "Happy Days" was the only good thing on TV. 

Then they introduced Fonzie’s younger cousin Chachi. And I was way gay for him, and his adorable, almond eyes. 

My hair back then was just like his, so I started wearing an army shirt. I wanted to make myself a muscle shirt too, but my mom refused to let me cut the sleeves off.  

When Erin Moran dated Chachi I almost died. 
I hated freckle-faced Joanie! 

Of course, my crush on Chachi was a shameful secret, because I would have been pounded. Nobody in my school at that time admitted to being gay. But since I could draw, in the privacy of my bedroom, I rendered Chachi naked. Then I drew a black swimsuit over him to cover his naughty bits.

My brother found the drawings and wrote:
“Who is this fag?!” So much for likenesses!

Next, I tried stealing glances at his picture in an issue of Teen Beat, and I was busted ogling his naked torso by the guys working at 7-11. 

They laughed their asses off, and I was beyond humiliated!

Then I heard Scott would be signing autographs at the Auto Show. I didn’t have the guts to go, but my friend Julianne did. And he said to her, quote: “Hi. How’s it going?” Ohhh! 

I would have melted in a pool on the floor along with all the other 13-year old girls! 

Except for the fact that I was a boy.
And yup, I would have been pounded! 

Dane - Brooklyn, NY ________________________________________

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Erin Loves Natalie Portman!

My first gay crush was actress Natalie Portman.

It was in the year 2000, the year after "The Phantom Menace" hit theaters.

And I guess you could say I finally embraced my geeky side, because I became a total "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" nerd. I was eight years old.

And one of the reasons was Natalie Portman.
I consider her to be my first real crush.

She was so strong on the screen as Padme Amidala, and that inner strength and beauty colored all of her subsequent roles. 

I could also see that in "V for Vendetta" when she was playing Evie Hammond - and sported that wonderful buzz cut at the end!

My wildest fantasies came true when I saw her as ballerina Nina in the amazing film "Black Swan," where she was in bed with Mila Kunis. 

By that point I was sixteen, and it was then that I realized that I was lesbian. And nothing made me feel more warm and tingly than seeing two beautiful women in bed together.

I came out on February 14th 2012 because I was tired of being alone on Valentine's Day. So here's to not being alone next year!

Erin, Vermont

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Thomas Loves Matthew Lawrence!

My first gay crush was actor Matthew Lawrence.

I first became aware of him on the show "Blossom" in 1991, when he played a younger version of his real-life brother Joey’s character in the show.

I was 12, and saw him shirtless in a scene. And I just remember feeling this… flutter, I guess.

And when he played Robin William's son in "Mrs Doubtfire," I was just totally crazy over him.

I don't think I've missed anything he's ever been in. And I promise you, he's been in some bad stuff. But all he'd have to do is smile and I couldn't take my eyes off him.

At 13 years old, I found out he was born Feb. 11, 1980 - just 9 days from my own birthday - which made me giddy. I would fantasize about meeting him, and telling him this quirky fact. We'd hit it off and it would be like fate.

Next we'd be alone, him laying on top of me with his tongue in my mouth. Of course, that fantasy usually ended with me hiding in my room, taking my "daydreaming" to it's natural conclusion.

Here it is 2013, and I still really do have a crush on this gorgeous man. It's pretty well known now among family and friends that I am utterly infatuated with this guy.

I recently discovered a scene he did from an indie movie called "Trucker." He's in a sex scene, and even though it’s with a woman, mentally I'm switching her out for me every time I watch it. 

Which is probably once a day!

Thomas - Corning, NY
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Chuck Loves Roy Rogers!

My first gay crush was actor Roy Rogers (and more!)

My dad bought our family our first TV in 1952.

At age 5, my favorite shows at the time were "The Roy Rogers Show" and "Howdy Doody," which ran old movie serials like "Flash Gordon."

Secretly, Roy Rodgers was my hero. I hugged and kissed my pillow as I fell asleep, pretending it was him.

Then, the first time I saw Buster Crabbe running around shirtless, drenched in sweat, I was hooked. He became my hero too, and gave me a funny feeling in my gut. 

Later on, Lloyd Bridges also became my hero. The excitement I felt when I saw him in Speedos left me baffled. And I never missed an episode of "Sea Hunt." 

There was no name for my feelings back then, and I told no one about them. All I knew was that these were all rough and tumble guys. And all I wanted to do was to put my arms around each of them and just hold them. 

Chuck - Rutland, Vermont
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James Loves Jay North!

My first gay crush was child actor Jay North.

Dennis the Menace (played by Jay North) was my boy crush in the early 1960's. Every Sunday night at 6:30pm his show would be on, and I never missed it.

I was 9 years old when I started watching it, and I remember this one episode were Dennis was sick in bed.


Dennis had to have his chest rubbed down with vapor rub. When he unbuttoned his pajama top and exposed his bare chest, I got all excited. Oh, how I wanted to be the one to rub his chest and tummy with the vapor rub.

My Grandma would always say to me, "You sure do like that cute little boy, don't you?" And I would answer her, "I sure do, Grandma. I wish Dennis could come and stay with me sometime!"

Yep! I sure had a huge crush on Dennis.

James - Wisconsin
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Jude Loves Doctor Who!

My first gay crush was a character, not just one man.

The Doctor is a time travelling alien/physician from the planet Gallifrey, who took human companions on great adventures. When I was around age 11, Doctor Who and the TARDIS materialized into my world, and I became obsessed with him and his magical blue box.

His character has currently been played by 11 actors, with Matt Smith as the latest incarnation. So over time, I fell in love with a character who is more than just one dimensional.

What makes the Doctor wonderful is that he makes you realize you are smart, clever, and brilliant. And my crush came at a time in my young life when I didn't see any role models that I identified with as a young man. 

He took companions in hand and introduced them to everything the universe has to offer - joys, wonders and horrors! And as Craig Ferguson sings: "Intellectualism and romance conquer over brute force and cynicism..."

 

Jude - Boulder, Colorado

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Steve Loves Mark Lester!

My first gay crush was UK actor Mark Lester. 

The year was 1969. I was 9, and he was 10. And he was SO cute, with an adorable singing voice.

I wanted to be his friend the moment I saw him.

Sitting in a darkened movie theater watching the movie "Oliver" with my entire 5th grade class, I was smitten with him.

This was long before any awareness of sex, but I was definitely aware of my attraction to Mark.

I wanted to live with him and the Artful Dodger 
(Jack Wild) and all of Fagin's boys. I wanted to share a bunk and swap shirts with him. And pick pockets with him, just like all the other scruffy kids in the gang.


Afterwards, my friends giggled about seeing "Nancy’s boobies" in her low-cut wench dress. 
I was mystified. Nancy? Who was watching Nancy? Certainly not me!

Long before I knew I was gay, I had a fondness for blondes, and Mark Lester was my first.

Steve - Austin, Texas
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Dennis Loves Ike Eisenmann!

My first gay crush was on Ike Eisenmann as Tony Malone.

I was 6 years old in 1975, and Ike as Tony in "Escape To Witch Mountain" was positively dreamy to me! I remember feeling incredibly warm whenever he would talk or use his powers to jump really high. He could just nod his head, and I would get a tingly feeling all over my body.

My first thought was, "Wow, how awesome would it be to hang out with Tony?" Which led to thinking, "Tony and I could find the magic spaceship, and go flying around the galaxy having all kinds of outer-space adventures!"

This soon led to, "We can live together in outer space on the magical spaceship with nobody else but the two of us." Of course, Kim Richards was absent during all of this. Though I adored her, she just didn't fit in my 6-year-old brain's lovestruck narrative. Sorry, Kim!

I would literally BEG my mom to see it every single time it played in theaters. "Can't we wait for it to be on TV?," she would ask. "NoOOooOOoooOOO! It's better in the MOVIES!," I would whine.

The reason I loved the movie so much is that it's a metaphor to growing up different, which can certainly apply to being gay. The idea that something logical could explain how different I felt completely appealed to me. As did the idea of having authoritative power over bullies, being able to speak to animals, and move objects with one's mind. That was a level of control I found absent in much of my life.

My family never knew about my crush. I came out in high school, only to be utterly and totally ignored. It was as if I hadn't come out, and they still talk to me as if I'm straight. Nowadays, I don't talk to them much.

I think they figure if they ignore my special gay powers, I won't be dragged off to Mr. Bolt's evil estate to be chased by hound dogs. But those of us from the Mountain, we know better. We can see the future.

Dennis - Portland, Oregon
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Akin Loves Eddie Cibrian!

My first gay crush was the very hot Eddie Cibrian!

I was 8 years old when I first saw him, as "Rock" from the film "But I'm A Cheerleader," which also featured RuPaul.

Although the film came out in 1999, I didn't see it until 2003.

And I swear I watched it at least twice a day, every day, for 2 and a half months!

And I specifically anticipated seeing him in the football scene.

It's where "Rock" seduces some of the boys at the
"True Directions" homosexuality rehab camp, by stroking a rather phallic rake and wearing a sweaty wife-beater tank-top and very tight denim shorts.


And I have never looked at my gardener quite the same since then. Coincidentally, two years ago I dated a boy for a few months who was called Eddie Serbian, and he worked alongside his father as a gardener/pool boy.

I asked my parents to hire them - which was before I came out to them and told them that we were dating!

Akin - Bath, Somerset, England
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Dee Loves Jodie Foster!

My first gay girl crush was Jodie Foster!

I loved watching all those movies from the 70's and 80's, many of which featured Jodie Foster or Kristy McNichol.

I liked the fact that they weren't "girlie girls" even though I was at times.

I can't tell you how confused I was then, knowing that they were girls, but that I loved them so much!

It was kind of hard being a black girl and explaining that to oneself. I actually get breathless sometimes now, just thinking back about it.

I never told anyone about my crushes. If my family noticed, they haven't said anything to me about it.
I also loved Wonder Woman, but that's another story.

I'm still coming to terms with my sexuality.
But Jodie and Kristy still get me hot.

Dee - Savannah, Georgie
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Robert Loves Christopher Atkins!

I had my first two gay crushes simultaneously.

I was 8 years old in 1983, and I knew before this time that I liked boys. But when I saw Christopher Atkins in a sexy movie trailer for "A Night In Heaven," I knew this crush wasn't merely an innocent fling.

I clipped the movie ad out of our newspaper, and kept it hidden under my bed.


I then went outside my house to see if any neighbors had newspapers waiting for the garbageman to pick up. If so, I confiscated them to look for more ads with
"A Night In Heaven," to clip and build my collection.

Then I saw an actual article for the movie with a picture of Christopher and co-star Lesley Anne Warren. He was barechested and I got so excited seeing this!
Of course, I was afraid of being caught with such hot material, so I didn't keep the article. Such a pity!

Aside from Christopher, the other actor who excited me was the blond, hunky, and handsome Ted McGinley. At the time, he was starring on "Happy Days" and I watched the show each week just to catch him.

I think Ted has aged very well now, but I haven't seen a recent photo of Christopher in quite some time. But ever since 1983, all those blond and light-haired men have always rocked my world!

Robert - New Jersey
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Coline Loves Brigitte Bardot!

My first gay crush was the stunning Brigitte Bardot.

I loved her cascade of blond hair, her sweet face, and her beautiful mouth. She represents the women of the 1960's (an era I really love) and of freedom and youth.

She was different than the girls we see on TV or in magazines today. She was a natural beauty.

I think I was 14 when I saw her in the movie "Et Dieu créa la Femme," and I was hypnotized.

When she was dancing in the movie, I was fascinated. She was just the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and I wanted to look just like her.


A few months ago at a family dinner, we were all discussing gay-mariage (which is not yet legal in France), and what they said nearly made me cry.

My own family thinks gay people aren't normal, and they say it's disgusting to see two men kiss each other.
So I think I will never tell them I'm bisexual.

Coline - Saint Etienne, France
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Kevin Loves Justin Timberlake!

My first gay crush was Justin Timberlake.

I was in 8th grade, and I had seen some scenes in movies that intrigued me. 

But JT made it very clear to me that women weren't really going to be a part of my romantic life.

I still have a very vivid memory of the Rolling Stone cover he did when his solo album came out.

And every gay guy around my age knows exactly what I'm talking about!

Much to my delight, he did a whole photo shoot inside, and it was all online for me to secretly view whenever I desired. And being age 13, that was pretty often.

Even when I see a picture of him now, I usually have to drop whatever I'm doing and take a look.

Kevin - Chicago, Illinois
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Scott Loves Dennis Cole!

My first gay crush was 70's TV actor Dennis Cole.

As a kid I had lots of crushes. I thought Bobby Sherman, Chad Everett, and Lyle Waggoner were awesome. I could go on and on.

But my biggest crush was on Dennis Cole.
I first saw him on the short lived TV show "Bracken's World."

And OMG!
I thought he was THE best looking man alive!

My mom bought me all the teen magazines that had his photos inside. I remember one feature in particular that showed him getting ready for a date, with a shirtless picture of him in the shower!

I would decoupage his photos on painted wood and I'd stay up all night making Dennis Cole bulletin boards.
A few years later I was pretty much over my crush.

But then he did a spread in Playgirl Magazine, and of course I had to have it! This time, there was another shower picture - but this one showed his bare behind! I've since learned that he did a lot of beefcake and nude photography work early in his career.

When he passed away in 2009, all the childhood memories flooded back. Sure, being gay back then wasn't always easy. But there is so much of it that makes me smile. And I certainly wouldn't change anything about my growing up experiences, including my first gay crush.

Scott - Wisconsin
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