JD Loves "Marky Mark" Wahlberg!

I was 11, and my first gay crush
was "Marky Mark" Wahlberg.

Initially, I didn't like his cocky attitude in his "Good Vibrations" video.

But my hormones soon kicked in after a few months of being mesmerized by his sweaty moves in arty black and white.

And then?

I wanted him to push ME against a chain-link fence, like the lucky female model in the video.


Then his workout tape came out. But I didn't buy it until I was 15 or so, in the bargain bin at K-Mart. I remember being so nervous as I bought it, so my mom and sister wouldn't see. The cashier was almost laughing at my obvious nervousness.

I hid the video inside my coat to leave, and often hid the workout tape at home. I was never able to watch it for very long, thanks to my hormones. And sure enough, I got forgetful once and left the tape in the living room as my family was spring cleaning.

I was clearly embarrassed as my nosy sister asked why I had the tape. And, why I didn't seem as fit as Marky or his workout buddies in the tape.

I attempted to actually use the workout tape for its intended purpose. But again, I could rarely make it past the first few minutes. Which is when they show Marky waking up in bed, in nothing but his Calvin's.

JD - Augusta, GA
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Geoff Loves Vic Morrow!

My first gay crush was Vic Morrow, on the
60's TV show "Combat."

I was probably 8 or 9.

He was a handsome tough guy, with a sensitive side. He was a soldier who hated war. And I was fiercely attracted to him.

We used to play "Combat" in the neighborhood, and
I imagined myself as Vic: strong, wise and gentle.
All traits I find admirable in people today.

Geoff - Philadelphia, PA
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Victor Loves Robert Conrad!

My first gay crush was
actor Robert Conrad.

I've known I liked boys since I was 4. But by the time puberty hit at age 11? I knew I liked men!

I had boy crushes, but my biggest thrill was Friday nights, watching the hot man who wore THE tightest pants in TV history:

Mr. Robert Conrad on
"The Wild Wild West."

He played a daredevil Secret Service agent named James T. West on the campy show. His character was a "real man" who did a lot of acrobatic stunts, often took his shirt off, and got tied up a lot.

Whoah! I didn't know anything about camp, let alone bondage and discipline. But I know I sure liked to see him tied up and shirtless.

My taste in men has changed over the years, but you never forget your first - with tight pants, sexy furry chest, and a glint in his blue eyes,

I realized way back in '65 you really can't separate the men from the boys -- except for maybe with a crowbar.


Victor - New York, NY
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Philip Loves Richard Thomas!

My first gay crush was Richard Thomas
on TV's "The Waltons."

The earnestness. The naivete. The overalls (occasionally with no shirt). And that mole.

I loved John Boy more than air and rice pudding put together. I had all things Waltons, even the lunch box. Which I carried until the lid rusted shut.

Then, lovingly stashed in the bottom of the closet - with the rest of me.
My fundamentalist family thought I had such fine family values, bonding with such a saccharine TV drama. But it was never about the morality tales, the life lessons, or the tender good nights.

No, this was all about wanting to shag John Boy.

In the barn, his attic bedroom, or in the rumble seat of the old Ford.

I dreamed he would write me terribly poignant love messages in pencil, on his goldenrod tablet.

Or type them on the old Remington.

I loved him, but also wanted to be him. I loved to write, and the 1930's felt like my era from another incarnation. He was respected by his parents, but they never really understood his tenderness.
Like John Boy, I lusted for fancy book learning. 
But of course, my true lust was really for him!

I fantasized about us going down to the old swimming hole, dropping our mended dungarees, and diving in. 

We would get drunk on moonshine whiskey, then commit carnal acts heretofore unknown on Walton's mountain.

Goodnight, John Boy. I love you.

Philip - Lima, OH
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Gary Loves Robert Reed!

My first gay crush was Robert Reed as
Mike Brady, the dad on "The Brady Bunch."

I remember him like it was yesterday, but it was way back in the 70's. I was around 8, and I don't know why, but I was obsessed with him. And I kept this crush very secret.

Although, one time on a family road trip, I was sleeping in the back of the car, and I woke up -
saying his name aloud.

That freaked me out!

My parents and brothers never said anything to about it. I still don't know if they heard me or not.

Gary - San Diego, CA
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Scott Loves Mackenzie Astin!

My first gay crush was Mackenzie Astin.

He played Andy on "The Facts of Life" in the 80's.

He was around 14, and I was 10, so he was like the sexy older man to me.

I thought he was perfect, with his blonde hair and cute puppy-dog eyes.


I don't remember the show much, but for a long time I said it was my favorite, because of Mackenzie.

I told everyone he was my favorite actor. But secretly, I just wanted to kiss him.

I saw him recently and he's gotten even better looking with age.

Scott - Seattle, WA
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Paul Loves Paul Michael Glaser!

My first gay crush was Paul Michael Glaser,
aka Starsky on TV's "Starsky & Hutch."

I was around 9-years old, and I was so in love with Starsky. 

He was special to me, because I didn't even know what gay meant.

I hadn't even heard that word at that point, so it was really just me going on pure instinct.

I remember my family and I were watching an episode where Starsky took off all his clothes, so Hutch had something to take into the laundermat to wash. When I saw Starsky in all his shirtless, towel-wrapped glory, just showing off that hairy chest? Dayum!

I knew there was something special about this man. Then, I said, out loud to my family:

"Who do you guys think is cuter? 
Starsky or Hutch?"

My 14-year old brother turned and said, "Why are you asking that? Guys don’t ask stupid questions like that!" I felt so stupid after that, I never said anything like that again. And I learned to keep those thoughts to myself.

Regardless, I think Paul Michael Glaser is how my fetish for hairy chested, darker-toned, butch men must have started.

Paul - San Jose, CA
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Nic Loves Daniel Truhitte!

I was in love with Rolfe from
"The Sound of Music." Hardcore.

I was around 6 in the early 80's, and I remember watching it on TV with my family.

I'm sure my father saw the shimmer in my eye. But I'm sure he was thinking I wished to be a puppeteer in "The Lonely Goatherd."

Nope, dad. 'Cuz in my prepubescent mind, I was slowly sticking my hands down Rolfe's lederhosen.

Yes, I'm painfully aware my first gay crush is from a musical. And yes, he turned out to be a Nazi. But that's only because Leisl didn't love him right.

Sure, she was pretty or whatever. But in my mind,
I knew that Rolfe was looking for love that only a man could fulfill. A very, very young man from the cornfields of Ohio...

Sometimes at night, I'd imagine him throwing stones at my window to get my attention. But, alas! The horrid reality was that the rural midwest had very few blond, blue eyed, muscly bicycle-telegram boys.

I don't intend to share this crush with many people, because I'm kind of afraid to admit that deep down inside: I really DO like musicals and they really DID shape my life.

Nic - Chicago, IL
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Shannon Loves Ralph Macchio!

My first gay crush was Ralph Macchio
in "The Karate Kid" movie.

He played a young man named Daniel Larusso, who experienced bullying, for being the new kid in town. And I could relate, as I was picked on and bullied a lot at school.

I was 11-years old, and
it was the first time I was physically attracted to anyone. I also knew since he was a guy too, that made me different.

Being raised in in Tennessee, I didn't even know what the word gay meant. But with my crush, it didn't take me long to realize what I was.

I remember asking my mom to buy me one of his posters, and the weird look on her face. She asked me, "Why do you want a poster of him?" and I replied, "Cause I really like him a lot." I didn't realize then that it was strange to her for me to have those feelings. To me, it just seemed natural.

Thanks for starting this blog and allowing me to share this story. It's important that other young people realize that it's natural to have these feelings, whether you're gay or straight.

Shannon - Phoenix, Arizona
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Sean Loves Leonardo DiCaprio!

My first gay crush was Leonardo DiCaprio.

I was in the 6th grade and really didn't have much of an idea that I was gay. At that point in time, the only minority I associated with was the group of kids that only ever wore sweatpants to school.

I remember the Batman & Robin issue of Disney Adventures magazine had arrived at home, and there was an article on Leo, because "Titanic" was coming out soon. And something changed for me that day.

Among all the pictures of George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell in rubber, I couldn't stop looking at the pictures of DiCaprio. It was verging on obsession.

The week after the magazine had arrived, I stayed home from school one day. I was a good kid, so my parents trusted me to be home alone. Well, let's just say things happened for me that had never happened before. And the Disney Adventures magazine was a little worse for the wear because of it...

Sean - Cincinnati, OH
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Jerome Loves Lee Majors!

Lee Majors was my first gay crush!

While Sebastian Cabot as Mr. French, and Patrick Duffy as "The Man From Atlantis" sparked some interest, the sustaining crush fire happened when I first saw Lee Majors in his bionic, superhuman state. With all that running in slow-mo, his open shirt and chest hair revealed, accompanied by cool sound effects.

I was a bit suppressed by a religious upbringing, and didn't know I was gay until I was 34. But looking back, I know he lit that fire. I bought his lunchbox, and started calling myself Steve "Ostin" on my assignments in 2nd grade. 

I was 7-years old.

Maybe it was innocent, as I was so young. But watching Lee Majors in that role for several years, influenced the kind of man that I would come to admire and love:

Heroic, selfless, strong. And, hairy.

Then, while I was still impressionable, he became "The Fall Guy," the life of a Hollywood stuntman.

And he just got hunkier. 

That hairy chest, devil-may-care attitude, and all rough 'n tumble with a cigar.



The show wasn't that well-written, but I suddenly didn't care about the plot.

I may not have known that I was gay, but I knew that I wanted him to be my best friend. And he's become the model for probably all the other men I've ever been interested in.

Jerome - Whitehorse, Yukon Territory
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