Dave Loves Pernell Roberts!

My first gay crush was Pernell Roberts
on TV's "Bonanza."

Growing up in rural Mississippi in the 60's, I busied myself with the world of television.

My other fave shows were "The Fugitive" (especially for David Janssen) and "Lost In Space." 

But I felt Dr. Smith was rather "queeny," and I wondered why Will Robinson's parents allowed their son around such a flamboyant man.

Matt Dillon on "Gunsmoke" was another arousal back then, too. But it was seeing Pernell Roberts' chest hair on "Bonanza" that sealed it for me - that I was not like the other boys in the neighborhood.

And, I wasn't concentrating on how to play Cowboys & Indians - I was concentrating on him.

I'd hoped when the cast of "Bonanza" was in town at the state fair that I'd get to meet him. 

Instead, they sent Michael Landon to represent the cast, and it was my older brother who was fascinated to meet him.



And for me, to this day, a man with a hairy chest will always get my fancy. Thanks to Pernell Roberts.

Dave - Jackson, MS
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - BornThisWayBlog.com

Joshua Loves Neil Patrick Harris!

My first gay crush was Neil Patrick Harris,
as TV's Doogie Howser.

I watched the show as a kid with the rest of my family. I remember being obsessed with his hair, and wanting to touch it.

Like a silly child, I imagined him in his Dr. uniform, and we would hold hands and kiss.

But he resembled every blond-haired, blue-eyed boy I had as friends and crushes growing up.

While I didn't identify myself as gay until I was about 12-years old, my crushes always seemed like normal infatuations to me.

And since I was convinced that I would grow up to be a doctor too, I thought he was the perfect man for me. I got a real thrill when he came out as gay, and I hope one day I can actually meet him.


Joshua - Los Angeles, CA
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - BornThisWayBlog.com

Mark Loves Brian Oldfield!

I was 11-years old, and my first gay crush
was Olympic shotputter Brian Oldfield.

I hated sports growing up. So when my brother and sister got to go to the Oympic trials in Eugene, OR in 1975, I certainly wasn't jealous.

But then I saw the pictures they brought home. And there was a snap of a massive man, with a mop of blond hair, in tight Levis, walking into the crowd.

I don't know where the pic is now, but I remember Brian Oldfield's quads in those jeans, and his smile into the camera. And I quickly snatched that photo for my private "Pee-Chee" school notebook.

The family seemed concerned about me during those Olympics. Because I, who had never taken any interest in sports whatsoever, was suddenly fascinated by a certain shotputter. Of course, I told everyone how much I just loved Brian Oldfield.

The Catholic strategy of keeping sex at bay with silence completely failed. And no one remembered to tell me that crushing out on 70's, golden-haired brawny Gods was "wrong."


By the time my new obsession appeared in Sports Illustrated in a certain red white and blue singlet, the deed had been done. I was as sure of who I loved as certainly as my brothers were sure of their love of Farrah Fawcett!

Mark - Los Angeles, CA
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - BornThisWayBlog.com

Winter Loves Esteban!

My first ever gay crush was Esteban, from the
80's cartoon "The Mysterious Cities of Gold."

I was around 8-years old when I first saw the show, and I was incredibly drawn to his character.

Even then, I felt different from my peers. And the way he gathers other outcasts to join him on his travels, was my first glimpse into building a family of choice.

There was a scene where he bathes naked in a river, and I have a vague memory of my mom scolding me for getting too close to the TV screen, as I stared in rapt fascination. I found out years later that she told my grandmother she suspected I might be gay.

I'm sure that I mentioned to a few people that I "really liked" Esteban. I don't know if I was obvious about it being a crush, though. I guess I wouldn't have made any effort to hide it, because I didn't realize that most boys didn't crush on other boys. That realization came when I was older.

Winter - Raymond, NH
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - BornThisWayBlog.com

Kathy Loves Lindsay Wagner!

It was 1976, I was 11, and my first gay crush
was Lindsay Wagner, as TV's "The Bionic Woman"

I watched "The Six Million Dollar Man," and loved that a female bionic character was introduced. 

And then she got her own show!

I was in my 20's when I FINALLY figured it out that I was gay.

And realized why I was so transfixed by Lindsay Wagner so long ago. I had a mad crush on that hot woman!

Jaime Sommers was athletic, independent, and smart.
She had speedy legs and a tennis-ball-crushing arm.
But she also had confidence and a wonderful gentleness, all wrapped up in that unpretentious, naturally beautiful face and body.


She was undeniably sexy, but didn't need to act frilly or bat her eyelashes. She was a bit of a tomboy like me, and I wanted to be like her. I even wished she could be my 6th grade school teacher.

I didn't understand my feelings back then, but even in my naive pre-pubescence, I knew my fascination with her went beyond that of my friends who also watched the show. Now I understand.

I've had more gay crushes over the years: Kate Jackson in "Charlie's Angels," Kristy McNichol in "Family," Kelly McGillis in "Top Gun," and the ubiquitous gay girl crush on Nancy McKeon in "The Facts of Life."
But it's true: we never forget our first crush.

Thinking of Lindsay still makes me smile today.
We should get together to discuss our Sleep Numbers... ;)

Kathy - Portland, OR
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Inspired by the "Born This Way Blog" - BornThisWayBlog.com