James Loves Jay North!

My first gay crush was child actor Jay North.

Dennis the Menace (played by Jay North) was my boy crush in the early 1960's. Every Sunday night at 6:30pm his show would be on, and I never missed it.

I was 9 years old when I started watching it, and I remember this one episode were Dennis was sick in bed.


Dennis had to have his chest rubbed down with vapor rub. When he unbuttoned his pajama top and exposed his bare chest, I got all excited. Oh, how I wanted to be the one to rub his chest and tummy with the vapor rub.

My Grandma would always say to me, "You sure do like that cute little boy, don't you?" And I would answer her, "I sure do, Grandma. I wish Dennis could come and stay with me sometime!"

Yep! I sure had a huge crush on Dennis.

James - Wisconsin
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Jude Loves Doctor Who!

My first gay crush was a TV character.

The Doctor is a time travelling alien/physician from the planet Gallifrey, who took human companions on great adventures. When I was around age 11, Doctor Who and the TARDIS materialized into my world, and I became obsessed with him and his magical blue box.

His character has currently been played by 11 actors, with Matt Smith as the latest incarnation. So over time, I fell in love with a character who is more than just one dimensional.

What makes the Doctor wonderful is that he makes you realize you are smart, clever, and brilliant. And my crush came at a time in my young life when I didn't see any role models that I identified with as a young man. 

He took companions in hand and introduced them to everything the universe has to offer - joys, wonders and horrors! And as Craig Ferguson sings: "Intellectualism and romance conquer over brute force and cynicism..."

Jude - Boulder, Colorado

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Steve Loves Mark Lester!

My first gay crush was UK actor Mark Lester. 

The year was 1969. I was 9, and he was 10. And he was SO cute, with an adorable singing voice.

I wanted to be his friend the moment I saw him.

Sitting in a darkened movie theater watching the movie "Oliver" with my entire 5th grade class, I was smitten with him.

This was long before any awareness of sex, but I was definitely aware of my attraction to Mark.

I wanted to live with him and the Artful Dodger 
(Jack Wild) and all of Fagin's boys. I wanted to share a bunk and swap shirts with him. And pick pockets with him, just like all the other scruffy kids in the gang.


Afterwards, my friends giggled about seeing "Nancy’s boobies" in her low-cut wench dress. 
I was mystified. Nancy? Who was watching Nancy? Certainly not me!

Long before I knew I was gay, I had a fondness for blondes, and Mark Lester was my first.

Steve - Austin, Texas
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Dennis Loves Ike Eisenmann!

My first gay crush was on Ike Eisenmann.

I was 6 years old in 1975, and Ike as Tony in "Escape To Witch Mountain" was positively dreamy to me! I remember feeling incredibly warm whenever he would talk or use his powers to jump really high. He could just nod his head, and I got a tingly feeling all over my body.

My first thought was, "Wow, how awesome would it be to hang out with Tony?" Which led to thinking, "Tony and I could find the magic spaceship, and go flying around the galaxy having all kinds of outer-space adventures!"

This soon led to, "We can live together in outer space on the magical spaceship with nobody else but the two of us." Of course, Kim Richards was absent during all of this. Though I adored her, she just didn't fit in my 6-year-old brain's lovestruck narrative. Sorry, Kim!

I would literally BEG my mom to see it every single time it played in theaters. "Can't we wait for it to be on TV?," she would ask. "NoOOooOOoooOOO! It's better in the MOVIES!," I would whine.

The reason I loved the movie so much is that it's a metaphor to growing up different, which can certainly apply to being gay. The idea that something logical could explain how different I felt completely appealed to me. As did the idea of having authoritative power over bullies, being able to speak to animals, and move objects with one's mind. That was a level of control I found absent in much of my life.

My family never knew about my crush. I came out in high school, only to be utterly and totally ignored. It was as if I hadn't come out, and they still talk to me as if I'm straight. Nowadays, I don't talk to them much.

They figure if they ignore my special gay powers, I won't be dragged off to Mr. Bolt's evil estate, chased by hound dogs. But those of us from the Mountain, we know better. We can see the future.

Dennis - Portland, Oregon
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Akin Loves Eddie Cibrian!

My first gay crush was the very hot Eddie Cibrian!

I was 8 years old when I first saw him, as "Rock" from the film "But I'm A Cheerleader," which also featured RuPaul.

Although the film came out in 1999, I didn't see it until 2003.

And I swear I watched it at least twice a day, every day, for 2 and a half months!

And I specifically anticipated seeing him in the football scene. That's where "Rock" seduces some of the boys at the "True Directions" homosexuality rehab camp, by stroking a rather phallic rake and wearing a sweaty wife-beater tank-top and very tight denim shorts.


And I have never looked at my gardener quite the same since then. Coincidentally, two years ago I dated a boy for a few months who was called Eddie Serbian, and he worked alongside his father as a gardener/pool boy.

I asked my parents to hire them - which was before I came out and revealed that we were dating!

Akin - Bath, Somerset, England
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Kevin Loves Justin Timberlake!

My first gay crush was Justin Timberlake.

I was in 8th grade, and I had seen some scenes in movies that intrigued me. 

But JT made it very clear to me that women weren't really going to be a part of my romantic life.

I still have a very vivid memory of the Rolling Stone cover he did when his solo album came out.

And every gay guy around my age knows exactly what I'm talking about!

Much to my delight, he did a whole photo shoot inside, and it was all online for me to secretly view whenever I desired. And being age 13, that was pretty often.

Even when I see a picture of him now, I usually have to drop whatever I'm doing and take a look.

Kevin - Chicago, Illinois
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Michael Loves Rick Springfield!

My first gay crush was the
one and only Rick Springfield.

It was right around 1981, and I was age 11. I fell in love with his hit single "Jessie's Girl"
and then his other hits.

When I saw the back of his album cover with him in a wife-beater (we probably called them tank-tops back then), I SWOONED!

My mom even took me to see him in concert twice!


I had my mom buy me 16 Magazine and others like it, just so I could tear out his photos. In retrospect,
I wonder what my dad thought about the Rick centerfold I had plastered on the wall directly over my bed…?

Michael - Ft. Lauderdale, FL
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Bill Loves David Stollery!

My first gay crush was actor David Stollery.

"Spin and Marty" was an inclusion in the "Mickey Mouse Club" around 1955.

The setting was 
a perfect fantasy: A summer camp and a dude ranch with horses.

My crush was on Marty, the blond, boyish, effeminate outcast.

Spin was very masculine, from a poor urban family, who "spins" the lasso well. Marty was basically the femme to Spin's butch, the sissy spoiled rich kid. Gradually, Marty learns to become "one of the guys."

Other guys I've talked to mostly liked the more manly Marty. So this one is still a little embarrassing among my bear friends. 

David Stollery played several Disney roles, then went to art school and designed cars, including the 1978 Toyota Celica.

Everything was basically a secret in my family, including this crush of mine, so keeping this a secret was no problem.

I liked several other boyish, 1950's TV guys, including Dean Jones in "Ensign O'Toole" and Jackie Cooper in "The People’s Choice." 

Bill - Eagle Rock, LA CA
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Frederic Loves Johnny Crawford!

I had my first gay crush on actor Johnny Crawford.

I grew up in Iowa, and when I was around 10-years old, my crush was on his character, Mark McCain. And I loved him so much!

Whenever he cried on the "The Rifleman," I just wanted to hug him and kiss him all over.

I loved his pouty mouth, and that sexy, hurt crack in his voice.

This crush on Johnny was part of my secret life, so no one ever knew I loved him until years later when I told gay friends. It turns out, lots of other gay boys loved Mark McCain, too. But I didn't know that at the time.

Besides, back then - Mark was mine alone!

Thanks. Nice website!
Frederic - Phoenix, AZ
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Ryan Loves Ryan Lambert!

My first gay crush was singer/actor Ryan Lambert.

As a kid in a small town in N. Carolina, music was my outlet. It was the 1980's, and pop music was totally AWESOME! I compulsively listened to pop radio, and I would just dance and dance.

"Kids Incorporated" was my favorite TV show on Sundays, and Ryan Lambert was just so adorable! He played guitar and had really great hair!

He was just rocker enough to be compelling - but wasn't threatening to a boy who practiced dance routines to Madonna, Stacey Q, and Debbie Gibson in his room.


I liked his voice and I imagined he was my dreamy boyfriend, so I could dance and play tambourine with him on stage. The intersection of sex, art, and music began for me with the very cute Mr. Ryan Lambert.

Ryan - N. Carolina
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Justin Loves Austin St. John!

My first gay crush was actor Austin St. John.

I was 6 in 1993 when "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" first aired, and every Saturday morning I would plop down in front of the TV to watch it.

The original leader was the Red Ranger named Jason Lee Scott (played by Austin St. John).

Jason had defined muscles, a deep timbre to his voice, and he was strong and great at martial arts. Although I didn't know it at the time, I would say that he represented a perfect masculinity to me.

Though I didn't have any tangible sexual attraction to men or women, I was drawn to Jason. While all of my male friends talked about how pretty Kimberly the Pink Ranger was, I would just stare at Jason's arms and face while giving non-commital answers to the others.

We would get together in my backyard and pretend to be Power Rangers. I refused to be the Red Ranger and always played Billy (Blue Ranger), because I identified more as a geek. Plus, I couldn't pretend to be the person that I loved; that would have been too weird.

Austin St. John left the series in season two, and my heart broke. And I nearly fell off of the couch when I saw him return in 1996. By that point, I knew for sure that I was different than the other boys in school, but I rationalized my crush as, 'Oh, you just want to grow up to look like him.'

After all of these years, I still occasionally have dreams about being with him. In them, I'm jogging and I get attacked, and Jason comes and saves me in his red uniform. After saving me, he removes the uniform, and well - I'm sure you can imagine the rest...

Justin - Ohio
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Wayne Loves Christopher Reeve!

My first gay crush was Christopher Reeve/Superman.

I was 5-years old, and my uncle took me to see "Superman." I was so psyched because I had a few Superman comic books and finally I was going to see the 'real thing'.

When he finally appeared on screen, saving Lois Lane after she fell out of the helicopter, I was in awe over his smile and big blue eyes.


I had seen some old Superman shows on TV too, but Christopher as Superman was just amazing to me!

Wayne - Kenora, Ontario, Canada
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Frank Loves Elijah Wood!

My first gay crush was actor Elijah Wood.

Actually, my crush was on two boys that were just a few years older than me:

Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin.


It happened watching the movie, "The Good Son."

At that age, I had this idea that I wanted to be their "best friend" just to spend time with them. I liked them both in other movies, but I think "The Good Son" is what definitely confirmed my crush.

I'm 27-years old now and I've met them both at various times in my life after I turned 21. My crush for Elijah was still there, but that ended as soon as I saw the first "Lord of the Rings" movie.

As for Macaulay, I had the privilege to be on the set for the movie "Party Monster," with a good friend and mentor, Brian Warner (best known as Marilyn Manson).

The little that I got to talk to Macaulay, I accidently told him about my crush as a child.

He said it was nice yet innocent, but that people change... Huh?

Frank - Dallas, TX
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Frank Loves Richard Crenna!

My very first gay crush was actor Richard Crenna.

I first saw him at age 6.
He was playing Luke McCoy on TV's "The Real McCoys."

I thought actress Kathleen Nolan (Hassie McCoy) was the luckiest person in the world, to have a husband as handsome as Luke.

Eagerly waiting for each weekly episode, I also began to notice Pat Boone on his show that aired just before.

I found only one other (boy) friend who also shared my interest in Crenna and Boone, and we spent hours each week with our (girl) friends, excitingly comparing their contrasting handsomeness.

Frank - Fall River, MA
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John Loves Vince Van Patten!

My first gay crush was actor Vince Van Patten!

I had a habit of staring at my sister's Bobby Sherman poster, sneaking her Tiger Beat magazines into my room, and being very into Lance Kerwin from TV's "James At 15."

But my first, real, "OMG!" gay crush was at age 9 in 1975, and saw Vince Van Patten on the TV show, "Apple's Way."

He started my infatuations with blond, surfer types. As a skinny kid with boring brown hair, it was a type I wanted, and wanted to be.

In addition to acting, Vince played tennis, and seeing him in those tight, 1970's tennis shorts made me feel all funny inside.

John - Portland, OR
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Mike Loves Dolph Lundgren!

My first gay crush was Dolph Lundgren as He-Man!!!

I grew up in a very strict Catholic family in the late 1970's. And the word gay or homosexual was never mentioned.

Thus, at the age of 14, I still didn't know what gay was. Or that gay people even existed.

I'd had boy crushes for hotties like Scott Baio and Christopher Atkins, and swooned over them as much as my sister did. But always in secret. Then in 1987, reading a movie magazine, I had my first "serious" gay crush.

I came across the full page ad for "Masters of the Universe" starring Dolph Lundgren. I was absolutely floored by how cute he was with his perfect blond hair and skimpy costume, which revealed his totally hot, buff body. And I just completely melted!

Dolph was standing in front of bright rays of light shining all around him, and to me he seemed like an archangel warrior sent from the heavens! Also, unlike the animated He-Man who wore fuzzy briefs, Dolph wore a sexy leather pouch! If that wasn't enough, across his chest he had thin, snugly-fitting leather straps!

I didn't have a word for it, but I knew right then I was gay! My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt slightly paralyzed, fixated on the picture.

I decided I had to see the movie, never wanted to lose that picture ever, and I couldn't ever let anyone know I had it! So I rationalized that hiding the photo under my mattress would be the best thing to avoid suspicion.

In any case, I can truthfully say it's He-Man's fault that I'm gay! :) And I still think that movie poster picture of Dolph is totally hot!

Mike - Ontario, Canada
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Jason Loves William Gray Espy!

My first gay crush was on actor William Gray Espy.

It was 1979, and he was on the "Another World" soap opera.

He was brought on as the bad guy in a plot to kill the show's star, Mac Cory.

He was tall, dark, handsome and lanky.

He had a low, deep voice and great dark hair. And I was fascinated by him.

To make a long story short, the story climaxed in St. Croix, where he spent two weeks with a swimsuit on. He was thought to be killed, and I was really concerned that his character might be killed off. He wasn't, of course, and was later redeemed.

He came back to the show in the 80's, as hot as ever. To this day, I want to find him and get him for myself!

Jason - Las Vegas, NV
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Cornelius Loves Robert Conrad!

My first gay crush was Robert Conrad, and the creative team behind the gayest show ever - "The Wild Wild West"

Every episode had the same formula:
a crazed super villain's plot was foiled by the studly Robert Conrad.

And also there is his 'friend' Artemis Gorden, a drag queen – oops, they called it 'master of disguise' in those days.


From the opening credits (where he punches a woman in the face, knocking her down), you knew this was a man's world. A world where a hard man would fight hard - with the camera on his skin-tight pants and perfect ass, please.

Once he lost the initial battle and was captured, the real fun began. Each week they found new ways to tie him up, usually shirtless, always tortured, while the sweat dripped down his face and chest so that the camera could end up back at his ass.

I know it sounds unbelievable, but I swear I remember one episode where an evil toymaker held him prisoner in a top secret toy bomb factory. The set included a few over-sized children's blocks in the background. There was something about that pre-Stonewall era that allowed the letters F, A, and G on the face of those blocks with no complaint – or awareness.

Cornelius - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Frank Loves Gardner McKay!

My first gay crush was actor Gardner McKay.

He played Adam Troy in TV's "Adventures in Paradise."

I had many TV crushes in the early 60's, but I thought that sailing barefooted around the South Pacific - in a Schooner with Adam Troy - would be the most wonderful thing to do.

The show was on at 9pm, which was my bedtime.

Mom and dad would sometimes fall asleep while watching TV and not notice that I was still up and quietly watching "Adventures in Paradise".

Gardner as Adam was always so independent, in-charge, smart, and so butch. Although he had many chances,
he never got the girl, at least not permanently.

I recently purchased the series on DVD and the shows are really quite boring by today's standards. I also learned via the internet that, sadly, McKay died at the age of 69 of prostate cancer.

No one knew of my crush until I became an adult, and conversation among friends turned to such topics.

Frank - Bristol, CT
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Jay Loves Ricky Schroder!

My first gay crush was Ricky Schroder!

Watching him on "Silver Spoons", and seeing him in Tiger Beat and other teen magazines, I formed a huge crush on him, along with a million other tweens.

In the 5th grade, my teacher gave us something fun to do, which was writing an essay on your favorite idol from sports, to singers, to everyday people.

I wrote two essays about Ricky:

One was for school, and the other saying how I REALLY felt about him. The teacher had the class read our essays aloud as we cheered each other on. My turn came and my teacher read aloud, "He's so cute. I want to hug and kiss him..." Yup, I'd submitted the wrong essay!

For a short while, I was known as Mrs. Schroeder to friends and they'd laugh and giggle. My teacher, Mrs. Ashley, pulled me aside and said my essay was well written with expression and devotion, and she enjoyed having me in her class.

This crush was completely taboo to speak of at the dinner table, as far as I was concerned. But it was obvious to my family because of the Teen Beat posters taped to my walls, next to my Culture Club posters.

Jay - San Francisco, CA
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