Bill Loves David Stollery!

My first gay crush was actor David Stollery.

"Spin and Marty" was an inclusion in the "Mickey Mouse Club" around 1955.

The setting was 
a perfect fantasy: A summer camp and a dude ranch with horses.

My crush was on Marty, the blond, boyish, effeminate outcast.

Spin was very masculine, from a poor urban family, who "spins" the lasso well. Marty was basically the femme to Spin's butch, the sissy spoiled rich kid. Gradually, Marty learns to become "one of the guys."

Other guys I've talked to mostly liked the more manly Marty. So this one is still a little embarrassing among my bear friends. 

David Stollery played several Disney roles, then went to art school and designed cars, including the 1978 Toyota Celica.

Everything was basically a secret in my family, including this crush of mine, so keeping this a secret was no problem.

I liked several other boyish, 1950's TV guys, including Dean Jones in "Ensign O'Toole" and Jackie Cooper in "The People’s Choice." 

Bill - Eagle Rock, LA CA
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Jeanie Loves Claire Danes!

Actress Claire Danes was my first gay crush.

Watching "My So Called Life" at age 13 in the early 90's, I thought I wanted to be Claire's character, Angela Chase.

It was that age-old lesbian conundrum:

Do I want to be her or
do I want to date her?

She was deep, she was alternative, she was cool, and she wore flannel.

I wanted it all - except NOT Jordan Catalano. I hated that she liked Jordan, then it dawned on me that I was just jealous. That's when I first thought I might be gay (and perhaps a little too into the show).


Also, Angela Chase was solely responsible for my horrible flannel phase in my early teens. Hey, it was the 90's, so give me a break.

I never told anyone about my crush, until recently. 

I find myself still having a thing for alternative girls, which I will always attribute to Claire Danes.

Jeanie - Louisville, KY
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Frederic Loves Johnny Crawford!

I had my first gay crush on actor Johnny Crawford.

I grew up in Iowa, and when I was around 10-years old, my crush was on his character, Mark McCain. And I loved him so much!

Whenever he cried on the "The Rifleman," I just wanted to hug him and kiss him all over.

I loved his pouty mouth, and that sexy, hurt crack in his voice.

This crush on Johnny was part of my secret life, so no one ever knew I loved him until years later when I told gay friends. It turns out, lots of other gay boys loved Mark McCain, too. But I didn't know that at the time.

Besides, back then - Mark was mine alone!

Thanks. Nice website!
Frederic - Phoenix, AZ
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Lauren Loves Cameron Diaz!

My first gay crush was actress Cameron Diaz.

I was 7-years old when a friend of my parents' had taken my sister and I to see "The Mask."

Afterwards, when she asked us each what we thought about the movie, my only response was:

"The pretty blonde lady made my tummy feel funny."


I don't remember saying this, but I do remember feeling happy and warm the whole rest of the night.

The truth is, I was stunned by the gorgeous blonde in a red dress, who danced like no one I'd ever dreamed of. She was sexy, she was smart, and she was troubled.

I would learn later in life that "troubled" is something I'm not only drawn to, but feel a strong urge to rectify. But most of all, she was mesmerizing.

It didn't matter that she worked for some sleazy guy, was forced into a relationship with him, or that she wasn't particulary well-spoken. When Cameron danced, sang, or even just walked into a room, everything else just kind of melted away.

My younger self seemed to have a strong affinity for blondes (Hello, Kelly Taylor!), and although I'm primarily drawn to brunettes nowadays, I will never forget that night -- or that red dress!

Lauren - New Brunswick, New Jersey
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Ryan Loves Ryan Lambert!

My first gay crush was singer/actor Ryan Lambert.

As a kid in a small town in N. Carolina, music was my outlet. It was the 1980's, and pop music was totally AWESOME! I compulsively listened to pop radio, and I would just dance and dance.

"Kids Incorporated" was my favorite TV show on Sundays, and Ryan Lambert was just so adorable! He played guitar and had really great hair!

He was just rocker enough to be compelling - but wasn't threatening to a boy who practiced dance routines to Madonna, Stacey Q, and Debbie Gibson in his room.


I liked his voice and I imagined he was my dreamy boyfriend, so I could dance and play tambourine with him on stage. The intersection of sex, art, and music began for me with the very cute Mr. Ryan Lambert.

Ryan - N. Carolina
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Justin Loves Austin St. John!

My first gay crush was actor Austin St. John.

I was 6 in 1993 when "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" first aired, and every Saturday morning I would plop down in front of the TV to watch it.

The original leader was the Red Ranger named Jason Lee Scott (played by Austin St. John).

Jason had defined muscles, a deep timbre to his voice, and he was strong and great at martial arts. Although I didn't know it at the time, I would say that he represented a perfect masculinity to me.

Though I didn't have any tangible sexual attraction to men or women, I was drawn to Jason. While all of my male friends talked about how pretty Kimberly the Pink Ranger was, I would just stare at Jason's arms and face while giving non-commital answers to the others.

We would get together in my backyard and pretend to be Power Rangers. I refused to be the Red Ranger and always played Billy (Blue Ranger), because I identified more as a geek. Plus, I couldn't pretend to be the person that I loved; that would have been too weird.

Austin St. John left the series in season two, and my heart broke. And I nearly fell off of the couch when I saw him return in 1996. By that point, I knew for sure that I was different than the other boys in school, but I rationalized my crush as, 'Oh, you just want to grow up to look like him.'

After all of these years, I still occasionally have dreams about being with him. In them, I'm jogging and I get attacked, and Jason comes and saves me in his red uniform. After saving me, he removes the uniform, and well - I'm sure you can imagine the rest...

Justin - Ohio
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Wayne Loves Christopher Reeve!

My first gay crush was Christopher Reeve/Superman.

I was 5-years old, and my uncle took me to see "Superman." I was so psyched because I had a few Superman comic books and finally I was going to see the 'real thing'.

When he finally appeared on screen, saving Lois Lane after she fell out of the helicopter, I was in awe over his smile and big blue eyes.


I had seen some old Superman shows on TV too, but Christopher as Superman was just amazing to me!

Wayne - Kenora, Ontario, Canada
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Frank Loves Elijah Wood!

My first gay crush was actor Elijah Wood.

Actually, my crush was on two boys that were just a few years older than me:

Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin.


It happened watching the movie, "The Good Son."

At that age, I had this idea that I wanted to be their "best friend" just to spend time with them. I liked them both in other movies, but I think "The Good Son" is what definitely confirmed my crush.

I'm 27-years old now and I've met them both at various times in my life after I turned 21. My crush for Elijah was still there, but that ended as soon as I saw the first "Lord of the Rings" movie.

As for Macaulay, I had the privilege to be on the set for the movie "Party Monster," with a good friend and mentor, Brian Warner (best known as Marilyn Manson).

The little that I got to talk to Macaulay, I accidently told him about my crush as a child.

He said it was nice yet innocent, but that people change... Huh?

Frank - Dallas, TX
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Frank Loves Richard Crenna!

My very first gay crush was actor Richard Crenna.

I first saw him at age 6.
He was playing Luke McCoy on TV's "The Real McCoys."

I thought actress Kathleen Nolan (Hassie McCoy) was the luckiest person in the world, to have a husband as handsome as Luke.

Eagerly waiting for each weekly episode, I also began to notice Pat Boone on his show that aired just before.

I found only one other (boy) friend who also shared my interest in Crenna and Boone, and we spent hours each week with our (girl) friends, excitingly comparing their contrasting handsomeness.

Frank - Fall River, MA
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Kim Loves Winona Ryder!

My first gay crush was actress Winona Ryder.

I was 19, when I saw her on a "Rolling Stone" magazine cover.

Seeing her at that time was my "When I knew for sure moment."

I would just stare at her in the checkout aisle at the grocery store.

Her hair, those eyes, her lips, those twisted up overalls, and no shirt.

It was amazing, and I've always remembered it. I didn't know if I wanted to be her or be with her. But I was definitely OK with either applied to me.

My girlfriend always says she's going to look for an original copy of the magazine on Ebay and buy it and frame it for me. :)

Kim - Columbus, Ohio
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John Loves Vince Van Patten!

My first gay crush was actor Vince Van Patten!

I had a habit of staring at my sister's Bobby Sherman poster, sneaking her Tiger Beat magazines into my room, and being very into Lance Kerwin from TV's "James At 15."

But my first, real, "OMG!" gay crush was at age 9 in 1975, and saw Vince Van Patten on the TV show, "Apple's Way."

He started my infatuations with blond, surfer types. As a skinny kid with boring brown hair, it was a type I wanted, and wanted to be.

In addition to acting, Vince played tennis, and seeing him in those tight, 1970's tennis shorts made me feel all funny inside.

John - Portland, OR
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Hilary Loves Lucy Lawless!

Lucy Lawless as "Xena: Warrior Princess"
was my first gay crush.

Actually, it was Lucy and Renée O'Connor as "Gabrielle" who were my first lesbian crushes.

I was 9, and still absolutely clueless about my own sexuality, but from the time I found the show in 1997, I never missed an episode.

Xena was who I idolized and wanted to be, and Gabrielle was the woman I wanted at my side.

I don't think I ever actually admitted my crush to anyone, and no one ever questioned it. Probably because I also watched shows like "Hercules,""The Adventures of Sinbad," and "Beast Master." But anyone who watched those shows knows they were loaded with more hot babes than any show with female protagonists.

Back then, I thought Xena and Gabrielle were more than friends, but I was so naive that I didn't even know women could be together that way. So they remained best friends in my mind, due to my limited knowledge.

Looking back, I can't help but wonder - even at such a young age - if I was picking up on the lesbian subtext.

Hilary - Saskatchewan, Canada
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Mike Loves Dolph Lundgren!

My first gay crush was Dolph Lundgren as He-Man!!!

I grew up in a very strict Catholic family in the late 1970's. And the word gay or homosexual was never mentioned.

Thus, at the age of 14, I still didn't know what gay was. Or that gay people even existed.

I'd had boy crushes for hotties like Scott Baio and Christopher Atkins, and swooned over them as much as my sister did. But always in secret. Then in 1987, reading a movie magazine, I had my first "serious" gay crush.

I came across the full page ad for "Masters of the Universe" starring Dolph Lundgren. I was absolutely floored by how cute he was with his perfect blond hair and skimpy costume, which revealed his totally hot, buff body. And I just completely melted!

Dolph was standing in front of bright rays of light shining all around him, and to me he seemed like an archangel warrior sent from the heavens! Also, unlike the animated He-Man who wore fuzzy briefs, Dolph wore a sexy leather pouch! If that wasn't enough, across his chest he had thin, snugly-fitting leather straps!

I didn't have a word for it, but I knew right then I was gay! My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt slightly paralyzed, fixated on the picture.

I decided I had to see the movie, never wanted to lose that picture ever, and I couldn't ever let anyone know I had it! So I rationalized that hiding the photo under my mattress would be the best thing to avoid suspicion.

In any case, I can truthfully say it's He-Man's fault that I'm gay! :) And I still think that movie poster picture of Dolph is totally hot!

Mike - Ontario, Canada
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Jason Loves William Gray Espy!

My first gay crush was on actor William Gray Espy.

It was 1979, and he was on the "Another World" soap opera.

He was brought on as the bad guy in a plot to kill the show's star, Mac Cory.

He was tall, dark, handsome and lanky.

He had a low, deep voice and great dark hair. And I was fascinated by him.

To make a long story short, the story climaxed in St. Croix, where he spent two weeks with a swimsuit on. He was thought to be killed, and I was really concerned that his character might be killed off. He wasn't, of course, and was later redeemed.

He came back to the show in the 80's, as hot as ever. To this day, I want to find him and get him for myself!

Jason - Las Vegas, NV
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Cornelius Loves Robert Conrad!

My first gay crush was Robert Conrad, and the creative team behind the gayest show ever - "The Wild Wild West"

Every episode had the same formula:
a crazed super villain's plot was foiled by the studly Robert Conrad.

And also there is his 'friend' Artemis Gorden, a drag queen – oops, they called it 'master of disguise' in those days.


From the opening credits (where he punches a woman in the face, knocking her down), you knew this was a man's world. A world where a hard man would fight hard - with the camera on his skin-tight pants and perfect ass, please.

Once he lost the initial battle and was captured, the real fun began. Each week they found new ways to tie him up, usually shirtless, always tortured, while the sweat dripped down his face and chest so that the camera could end up back at his ass.

I know it sounds unbelievable, but I swear I remember one episode where an evil toymaker held him prisoner in a top secret toy bomb factory. The set included a few over-sized children's blocks in the background. There was something about that pre-Stonewall era that allowed the letters F, A, and G on the face of those blocks with no complaint – or awareness.

Cornelius - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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Frank Loves Gardner McKay!

My first gay crush was actor Gardner McKay.

He played Adam Troy in TV's "Adventures in Paradise."

I had many TV crushes in the early 60's, but I thought that sailing barefooted around the South Pacific - in a Schooner with Adam Troy - would be the most wonderful thing to do.

The show was on at 9pm, which was my bedtime.

Mom and dad would sometimes fall asleep while watching TV and not notice that I was still up and quietly watching "Adventures in Paradise".

Gardner as Adam was always so independent, in-charge, smart, and so butch. Although he had many chances,
he never got the girl, at least not permanently.

I recently purchased the series on DVD and the shows are really quite boring by today's standards. I also learned via the internet that, sadly, McKay died at the age of 69 of prostate cancer.

No one knew of my crush until I became an adult, and conversation among friends turned to such topics.

Frank - Bristol, CT
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Brittany Loves Queen Beryl!

I was about 4 or 5 when I had my first gay crush.

It was in the mid 90's when "Sailor Moon" captivated a whole generation of little boys - and girls!

However, I was much more attracted to the red-haired, busty villainess Queen Beryl. I remember clearly being entranced by her. And the doll I had of her was absolutely my favorite toy back then.

Heck, I'm pretty sure that she ended up cultivating a lot of my tastes. I'd still probably date her today if she was a real woman.

Today, I've got one foot in the pansexual closet and one foot out. But suffice to say that if anyone asked me for the first time I really knew I was gay, I'd point to Queen Beryl as my catalyst.

Brittany - Alberta, Canada
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Jay Loves Ricky Schroder!

My first gay crush was Ricky Schroder!

Watching him on "Silver Spoons", and seeing him in Tiger Beat and other teen magazines, I formed a huge crush on him, along with a million other tweens.

In the 5th grade, my teacher gave us something fun to do, which was writing an essay on your favorite idol from sports, to singers, to everyday people.

I wrote two essays about Ricky:

One was for school, and the other saying how I REALLY felt about him. The teacher had the class read our essays aloud as we cheered each other on. My turn came and my teacher read aloud, "He's so cute. I want to hug and kiss him..." Yup, I'd submitted the wrong essay!

For a short while, I was known as Mrs. Schroeder to friends and they'd laugh and giggle. My teacher, Mrs. Ashley, pulled me aside and said my essay was well written with expression and devotion, and she enjoyed having me in her class.

This crush was completely taboo to speak of at the dinner table, as far as I was concerned. But it was obvious to my family because of the Teen Beat posters taped to my walls, next to my Culture Club posters.

Jay - San Francisco, CA
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Marcus Loves Jan-Michael Vincent!

My first gay crush was actor Jan-Michael Vincent.

When the summer of 1973 came around, my mom was working part time at the mall, and my sister and I would go with her and hang out there. 

This was also when malls had one or two movie screens inside.

One day, the movie we all saw was "The World's Greatest Athlete." And oh my stars!

When I caught sight of Nanu (Vincent's character),
I remember audibly inhaling and my sister asking if I was okay. He was stunning to me.


I recall spending the rest of the summer pretending that he and I were friends in the jungle after he rescued me. And he'd take me swinging on vines, swimming in lagoons, and hunting tigers. Ahh, summer.

I remember still crushing on him when "Damnation Alley" came out in 1977. Although the young Jackie Earl Hailey was also on my gay radar. Double score!

Marcus - San Antonio, TX
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Hillary Loves Melissa Joan Hart!

My first gay crush was Melissa Joan Hart. Or actually her character Clarissa, from the excellent Nickelodeon show, "Clarissa Explains It All."

It was the mid 90's, and I was about 12-years old. At the time, I just thought I wanted to be her.

Melissa was so beautiful, and always dressed so cool! And she was just so awesome and rebellious.

She had a pet alligator named Elvis, for crying out loud! How was I supposed to resist her charms?

As I got older and realized more about myself, I knew I didn't just want to be Clarissa, I wanted to be WITH her! It was quite a moment of self discovery to admit that yes - my devotion to Ms. Hart's little TV show was mostly because I wanted her to be my girlfriend.


It was no secret I was her fan, but I don't think anyone suspected the underlying crush. My mom indulged my fascination though, and allowed me to sport many now-ridiculous Clarissa-inspired outfits and hairdos.

Thanks, mom!

Hillary - Washington, DC
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